Thursday, May 12, 2011

Markers, Weeds & Glitter

I slept all night.

Strangely I think I woke up more tired than normal.

Chubbers found a permanent marker this morning.... and colored on her arms for so long you couldn't even see her skin anymore. This adds to the three scratches on her cheek from our new cat that she loves/tortures relentlessly. Not to mention the bruise below her eye from falling off of the blocks table that is now a nice pea green and yellow hue.

Chubbers also found her big sister's mascara and painted her face. I'm not sure if this was before or after she also painted her right arm with glitter nail polish. Or if that was before or after the marker.

I haven't quite decided if it's the toddler that is so difficult, or if it's the big sister who has all of these things in her room within the toddler's reach.

I cried. 

A lot.

I admit... I cried and cried and cried as I doused my little girls arms in alcohol over and over. I scrubbed and cried. Scrubbed and cried. I let my tears flow freely until they ran out. She wasn't crying. Quite the contrary. She felt very "piddy." 

Still, a dam broke loose inside of me.

It felt good.

 Our garden is plowed. It's about a 1/2 acre this year... unless Stern keeps pulling his beloved tiller behind his tractor over more of our land. I'm sure he will. There is something so beautiful about freshly tilled dirt in perfectly straight rows. There are no weeds and everything looks fresh.

Periodically, I need to be tilled up. The weeds grow inside so quickly and can go seemingly unnoticed for quite some time before I realize it's time to weed the garden within me. I feel discouraged when I find weeds of judgments, frustration, and even apathy. 

Some weeds even seem pretty with their white flowers or symmetrical patters. Morning Glory is beautiful! But left unattended can take over and become difficult to pull. 

I am grateful for a Savior who has made it possible for me to till my internal garden. It is through Him that we are able to daily weed our garden and have those weeds readily taken away by a loving Heavenly Father.

Our soil is fresh again.

A clean slate.