Tuesday, September 13, 2011

I Think I Can, I Think I Can!

This weekend I had a Time Out.

Being gone all evening Friday and most of the day Saturday my little 4-year-old asked her Dad one more time where mommy was. When he again told her that she was at Time Out for Women she asked "Is she in trouble?"

I love children!

When Stern and I were dating we tried to impress each other with our talents continually. I would bake him fantastic goodies and he would take me out on his motorcycle to all the local outdoor adventure spots. Each of us would play the piano for each other. . . he would play through a flawless Fur Elise and I would whip through a forearm cramping display of The Entertainer by Scott Joplin. We woo'd each other and were shortly married.

After marriage we  both came to realize that the piano songs we so beautifully displayed for each other while dating were . . . uh . . . the only one's we knew. Sixteen years later they are still the songs we play from memory: The Spinning Song, Moonlight Sonata, The Entertainer. I'm sure there were more! Maybe not.

Opportunities to play the piano have come and gone over the years for me. Some experiences were wonderful. Others left me in tears from the debacle.

The sweet young women at church will be singing in sacrament meeting in October. I thought to myself "what a great opportunity! I will have eight weeks to learn the music (have a baby in the middle) and it will give me an excuse to get back to church after the birth of our son."

On the next Sunday it was announced that we had been volunteered to sing in front of all of the young women in our area and their parents. . . in two weeks. TWO WEEKS!

Because I've always been known to quit when things get too hard. . . or at least strategically go out of town or something . . . the wheels started turning on how I was going to get out of this.

I ran into my friend Suzie a few days later and explained my plight. I told her I would practice, practice, practice but if it came down to the day before and I didn't think I could do it, would she? She and her AMAZING piano skills happily agreed.

Yes. I was off the hook. OF COURSE I was going to call her!

Then ~

I attended Time Out for Women.

Here's the first quote I wrote in my cute notebook (thanks Susan!).

"You get strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. . . You must do the thing you think you cannot." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

I soon grabbed Suzie and said "I have to play. Don't let me call you." She laughed at me.

Of course I have to play! I cannot quit!

Why am I afraid? I am not a pianist! My mother is a pianist. Suzie is a pianist. I am a poser (again). I only had piano lessons in 1st grade and half of 2nd. I want to be a pianist. That's what it boils down to.

Alas, I will not give in to fear. I am going to play Guardians of Virtue in six days. I have faith that as I practice all I can I will be blessed to learn the music.

Tonight as all of my children gathered around behind me to sing the song while I was practicing my heart was filled to the brim.

It's worth it.

I can do hard things!!