Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Is It Too Scary to Marry?

I've been thinking.

Some of you may know that in just over three years Bo will be the same age I was when I met my husband... and four years from when I was engaged.

Yeah... I was super old and mature. And, yes, I knew everything. Seriously.

The thought never even crossed my mind to do a background check (who did that!?!), to find out if there was a history of pornography (no Internet "back then"), or wonder if he or his father were pedophiles.

The story of Susan Powell is so disturbing to me!

Reading the headline took my breath away and broke my heart.

Look at those sweet baby boys. They are now with their mother again.

Let me ask you this:
Would you know you were marrying a murderer? Would there be red flags?
Stern and I were talking about how frightening it is at times to think of all of our daughters marrying in the relatively near future. What is our role as parents if the husband is a loser? This is all freaking me out a little.

We have to give our daughters their independence ~ but to the point of marrying a psychopath? I suppose so. I have been known for bristling when anyone tries to control my decisions. Like I said, I knew everything when I was 19 and I wasn't going to let anyone tell me what to do.

We cannot take away their free agency, so what is the answer?

We try to be very clear regarding the choosing of a husband. My daughters OFTEN hear their mother excuse herself as she steps up on her soapbox to deliver her speech regarding the choosing of their future mate... the father of their children. They are better off alone than with a loser. Let me repeat ~ they are better off alone than with a loser... or a murderer for that matter. Do I really need to add that to my speech? Ugh. I've been thinking my little mantra covered it all.

I have come to believe that it's not the registered sex offenders we need to be worried about so much as the one's who haven't been caught. Susan Powell's husband had a clean record and he just blew up his family.

This is a totally different world than the one I grew up in. Our children need to be solid as a rock.