Monday, April 2, 2012

Finding More Within

Have you ever had to do something hard?

Really hard.

Like, seemingly impossible hard?

As many of you may know, I am not known for my perseverance ~ i.e I run only when someone is chasing me... I begin projects only to leave them 3/4 of the way done. I totally drive my poor husband crazy.

Last week I agreed to do something I had never done before.

It sounded fun but as the time grew near I began to see that maybe I had bitten off more than I could chew. The demands of my life seemed to be mounting.

I decided to take each day one step at a time as the deadline grew near and prayed for strength, direction, and patience.

Wednesday came and the home button on my iPhone quit working. You know, you don't realize how important that stupid little button is until you have to turn it off and back on just to go from an email to your calendar. In my efforts to mend the limping gadget, I plugged it into our desktop inadvertently losing all of my information and loading my husband's phone from iCloud. I'm super techy that way.

Needless to say, I was frustrated.

Thursday came and I was putting the final touches on a doTERRA class I was teaching on Friday night. My laptop began clicking, almost like someone was hammering inside, and then it died. 

Dead.

I have never in my life had this happen. I lost everything. Pictures, documents... everything.

I have a family who needs me 99.8% of the time and free time is precious. I knew that the time wasn't available to do all that I'd committed to do.

I recreated everything I'd lost for the Friday night's Reinventing Healthcare class and got there to teach. I also did the same for Saturday's Spa night and made it home by 9:30 pm. While on the phone with my friend Jennifer that night, she sweetly asked if there was anything she could do to help me prepare for Monday. I told her I thought it would be okay because I had gathered all of the information. It was just a matter of organizing it all.

She asked, "do you still have it?"

Ugh. No. It was on the dead computer.

I didn't want to work on it on Sunday so I prayed for help to keep my mind clear, get rested and be able to start in the wee hours of Monday morning.

Sunday night my husband said "you know, sometimes crap just happens. Just call and tell them that your computer crashed and it's just not going to happen."

Something boiled up inside me and I looked him square in the eye and said "No. I am going to do this. I always quit and I am not quitting this time."

I worked until 2:30 in the morning and then was up again at 6:30 to continue. I thought I had all day until Bo reminded me that she had an orthodontist appointment and Cheroo had a dentist appointment right after. My entire afternoon was now gone. I wanted to give up. It was too hard!

It was in that moment that I realized I had a choice before me. If I were in college (my not-so-secret dream) and had an enormous assignment due, would I quite? Heck no!

I would not give up.

I hired Coyote to babysit Binks and I set back to work. My mind was clear and it was coming together. I was getting really excited.

I turned in my presentation just one hour before the webinar  was to begin. At the appointed hour I was introduced and my voice was broadcast as I read my presentation accompanied by the PowerPoint I had created. It was absolutely magical! Who knew one could be so confident and have so much fun talking to a computer!?!

When I finished and Bo came downstairs to see how it went, all I could do was say "I DID IT!" over and over again in my high, squeaky voice as I jumped around the room doing my best happy dance!

I did not quit!

I really did it.

There is something awesome about finding more within ourselves than we ever knew was there.

 The feeling is indescribable!