jilll 'E' jam and the Fam

We're Getting Burried Alive!

2012-02-10T08:00:00.000-09:00

It's been a snowy winter to say the least.

Unfortunately for my children, the snow-machine is out of commission.

Minor thing really ~ just jumped off a snow berm in the yard and smashed into the front of the house.

All in a typical, wonderful jill'E'jam day.

We have had lots of snow though which has been beautiful.

Here's a few recent pics of the place.

My view out my front window

Without a snow-machine to tear up and pack down the snow, the children were able to do THIS.

January and February are my favorite months. Sunshine & freezing!

Dayz Like These

2012-02-09T08:00:00.000-09:00

Do you ever buy this stuff...

...and put your hand in only to find that your kids have pilfered all of the M&M's (even the hidden brown ones!) leaving you a nasty sack of raisins and nuts?

Sure-fire way to wreck my day.

Still, I can't in good conscience throw it away so I return to Costco to buy their 3 lb. sack of M&M's to dump into the bag.

By this time I've spent twenty bucks on this fargin' sack of Trail Mix.

Ha ha ~ fargin'. You like that word? That's when you know I'm all fired up over my snack!

a - MAZE - ing

2012-02-08T08:00:00.000-09:00

In case you were wondering what homeschoolers do in their spare time.

Google Earth, you may take your picture now.

Thank you.

********************

Oh. And did I tell you I canceled my gym membership?

Sad. I know.

I decided something wasn't working when I wore my awesome work-out clothes all day, everyday and could never, ever get to the gym. That was kind of an expensive mistake.

Onward and upward!

Is It Too Scary to Marry?

2012-02-07T08:00:00.000-09:00

I've been thinking.

Some of you may know that in just over three years Bo will be the same age I was when I met my husband... and four years from when I was engaged.

Yeah... I was super old and mature. And, yes, I knew everything. Seriously.

The thought never even crossed my mind to do a background check (who did that!?!), to find out if there was a history of pornography (no Internet "back then"), or wonder if he or his father were pedophiles.

The story of Susan Powell is so disturbing to me!

Reading the headline took my breath away and broke my heart.

Look at those sweet baby boys. They are now with their mother again.

Let me ask you this:

Would you know you were marrying a murderer? Would there be red flags?

Stern and I were talking about how frightening it is at times to think of all of our daughters marrying in the relatively near future. What is our role as parents if the husband is a loser? This is all freaking me out a little.

We have to give our daughters their independence ~ but to the point of marrying a psychopath? I suppose so. I have been known for bristling when anyone tries to control my decisions. Like I said, I knew everything when I was 19 and I wasn't going to let anyone tell me what to do.

We cannot take away their free agency, so what is the answer?

We try to be very clear regarding the choosing of a husband. My daughters OFTEN hear their mother excuse herself as she steps up on her soapbox to deliver her speech regarding the choosing of their future mate... the father of their children. They are better off alone than with a loser. Let me repeat ~ they are better off alone than with a loser... or a murderer for that matter. Do I really need to add that to my speech? Ugh. I've been thinking my little mantra covered it all.

I have come to believe that it's not the registered sex offenders we need to be worried about so much as the one's who haven't been caught. Susan Powell's husband had a clean record and he just blew up his family.

This is a totally different world than the one I grew up in. Our children need to be solid as a rock.

I Hanged the Children

2012-02-06T08:00:00.000-09:00

My little peeps are now on display.

Unfortunately, I have added another child who will probably have to wait 10 years before I make his silhouette.

Poor Mr. Binks.

He really will even things out rather nicely though hanging there in the middle. Don't you think?

On a sad note...

Coyote dropped my camera (cough, cough) and it is D-E-A-D.

He killed it.

R.I.P. faithful camera.

Blogging without you will be like talking without my hands.

Impossible.

Wigs 4 Kids - She Did It!

2012-01-23T08:00:00.000-09:00

Pupa is a determined girl.

For two years she has been growing her hair as long as she can (with no split ends) so that she can donate it to Wigs 4 Kids.

Pupa filled with excitement!

Pupa said "Whoa! That is a lot of hair. Well ~ I can still be happy because at least I still have some left-over. These kids don't have any!"

My brave 8-year-old

She did it. Twelve inches of gorgeous hair for another child.

I've always told Pupa that she is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside but the depth of her love for others has risen to a new level.

Pupa ~ you inspire us all.

Busy Times & Lots of Laughs

2012-01-19T08:45:00.001-09:00

Can't get enough of this kid.

Binks' face is classic!!

Bo turns 15!! And loves her piggy pillow pet. Aww...

Cake side note ~ I forgot the cup of boiling water in the batter and Bo doesn't like frosting so I couldn't even cover the mess. Sometimes you just have to smile and eat the mess.

Jedrick pre-haircut with his finger in the light socket

Grandpa took this picture while he was here for a visit. That's Jedrick's drinking cup at night. He freaked out when he found out this was going on when he wasn't looking.

Our Nightly Circus Routine

2012-01-10T21:10:00.000-09:00

It's youth night.

Stern takes the oldest four and I say with the younger three.

This usually works well. . . usually.

Today Pupa came home with strep. Stern took the oldest three and I kept the youngest four.

Pupa's crying, Mr. Binks is crying, Chubbs is potty-training.

I help Pupa while Binks screams. Chubbs pees on the wood floor. Cheroo is trying to bring Binks up the stairs to me. I save Binks. Chubbs is running around naked.

Pupa wants me to sing to her. I sing "Echos" by Mercy River until she's lost in delirium and then turn on the CD (hoping to fake her out).

I comfort Binks.

Why is Cheroo naked now?

Cheroo and Chubbs gleefully run around in their birthday suits while I put Binks to sleep.

Pupa down ~ check.

Binks down ~ check.

"Come on girls. Let's get your jammies on."

"We want to be naked! We want to swim in the tubby!" comes their reply.

"Noooo ~ it's not tubby time."

"Whyyyyyyy?"

"Because you got in the tubby earlier and dumped who knows how many 16 oz cups of water all over the floor."

"But it was fun!"

"No tubby."

"Awwwwwww" they cry out in unison.

I read a couple of stories. I sing a few songs songs. They are asleep.

What's that I hear?

Binks is awake.

What perfect timing!!

It's great to be a mom.

A Delicious Dinner and Aspiring Thespians

2012-01-06T09:21:00.001-09:00

Every year I spend all day Christmas Eve cooking our Christmas dinner. I have always loved it! It's a lot of work and a lot of food and then I don't have to cook all day on Christmas day.

This year was a little different.

I got up Christmas Eve and went to Zumba. So much fun! I came home feeling fantastical!!

I assigned Pupa to be in charge of putting together the nativity program for that evening. Usually I'm controlling of this too and want it to be so perfect it's miserable. I know... cool huh? I'm letting go.

Pupa got costumes for everyone and spent all day conjuring up a dramatic reenacting of our Saviors birth.

Bo, Jedrick, Cheroo, and Chubbs all jumped in to help with dinner and it was delightful.

Who needs pants?

Jedrick with his deviled eggs that beat out most of the women at church in the Iron Chef deviled egg cookoff

The pie maker striking a glamorous pose

Full of cheese

The crew (minus Mr. Binks who was sleeping)


Bo's pies. She made all of the crusts from scratch with no help from me. Three pumpkin, two banana cream, and a dutch apple. Eight eaters and six pies. Glutenous I tell you! We loooooove pies :D

And here we have a short clip of the program that evening. Mind you, Cheroo didn't want to be an angel appearing to Mary because she HAD to be a ballerina. Chubbs refused to be a sheep so we had Elmo in the stable (much to Pupa's dismay). You will see Mary on the donkey's back following Joseph to Bethlehem. In the forefront is Cheroo who just KNEW there were other people on the road so she had to be on her horse (again, much to Pupa's dismay).

The Gift of Service

2011-12-29T19:19:00.002-09:00

As I sat in a waiting area amid a crowd of people I witnessed the greatest act of kindness.

Across the room a woman was trying to open her water bottle. She twisted and twisted to no avail.

Suddenly a another woman sitting close-by said "can I help you with that?"

The woman smiled and gratefully handed her the bottle.

The woman placed the bottle between her legs and began squeezing and twisting. When the lid came loose, water gushed out all over, soaking her lap.

She smiled and handed the now half-full-bottle back to the owner with a smile from ear to ear.

The woman who offered her help had only one arm.

**********************

As I've reflected on what I saw that day, I have realized something.

I have a choice

This woman had a choice. She could choose to feel sorry for herself and wallow in the misery of losing her limb. She chose not to let it get her down! Really ~ that took some guts to offer help to a woman with two arms! She had complete confidence in herself and her ability to help others. We've all been given struggles and no one's lot is the same. But we all have a choice to rise above our challenges to be a positive influence on those around us. It really is a choice.

Partaking of a bitter cup without becoming bitter is part of the emulation of Jesus

~ Neal A Maxwell

If for a while, the harder you try, the harder it gets, take heart. So it has been with the best people who ever lived

~ Jeffrey R. Holland

The Beloved Doll House

2011-12-26T08:00:00.000-09:00

Here it is folks!

** I had a lot of fun taking these pictures! **

Stern & Jedrick built the toilet ( LOVE the flooring!!)

Coyote painted the beds & Bo stapled on the blankets

Stern & Jedrick built the couches

Jedrick built the TV center, painted it, and added the foil wrapped antennae (he remembers his parents doing that in years past. LOL)

Bo painted the kitchen furniture. The table has a pizza in the center surrounded by plates and silverware.

All the gals I painted at Super Saturday ~ SO FUN!

And the fellas painted by yours truly

The gals gathering for a Girl's Night Out around the table

The girls LOVED IT!

I Joined

2011-12-23T18:01:00.000-09:00

A Gym.

I'm so excited!!

I'm thinking I could become a . . . what's it called? . . . a gym rat? Uh-huh.

I have all these plans for getting back in shape. Yesterday was cardio on some new-fangled not-so-elliptical machine and today I worked on upper body. I pushed pretty hard so we'll see how my joints hold up. Three hours later I'm not feeling any worse for wear. Yesss!

I am finally feeling Christmassy. It seemed to come late this year. I was pretty stressed about the logistics of stocking for the whole family and realized that it wasn't all of the shopping that made me feel Christmassy. In fact, I think it took away from it.

What finally brought the spirit of Christmas into my heart was when I began working on a gift for the three little girls with the rest of the family. Night after night we've worked together restoring an old doll house Bo and I found at Salvation Army. Recently I painted little wood peg people at a SuperSaturday. I enjoyed it way more than I ever would've dreamed. The house is the perfect size for them.

**Pictures to come... after it's opened by the little peeps**

My older children had so much fun and got so excited as we cut blocks and transformed them from a block of wood to a refrigerator, sink & stove, beds with blankets, couches, entertainment center, and even a toilet. Each night one of them would say "Mom! Are we going to work on the dollhouse tonight?"

It really has been the true spirit of giving. Giving of ourselves.

I am excited for Christmas!

And a Very, Merry Christmas from a smiling Mr. Binks!

2011-12-22T08:00:00.000-09:00

Merry Christmas

from jill'E'jam & the fam

Much love to all near and far!

XOXOXO

Mr. Binks (2 months), Chubbs (nearly 3), Cheroo (4), Pupa (8), Coyote (11),

Jedrick (13), Bo (15), jill'E'jam (65), & Stern (80)

Another Change

2011-12-19T11:24:00.000-09:00

I lied.

I'm mad.

I've asked Santa for a new perspective.

Not Just a Weather Shift

2011-12-18T16:14:00.001-09:00

We had a huge barometric pressure shift today.

The wind blew hard and it was a blizzard outside.

The clouds gave way to gorgeous (and very missed!) blue skies.

Coyote asked why we don't ever get warm "Hawaiia winds" in the summer.

That would be nice, but it wouldn't be Alaska anymore.

My joints hurt.

Bad.

It hurt to climb and descend the stairs.

I started out in heals but ended up in flats 10 minutes later.

I couldn't squeeze the release lever on Mr. Bink's car seat to get him out of the car for church.

It hurt when he laid his head on my elbow to drink his bottle.

It hurt to hold him.

Yet I have so much to be grateful for!

My children love to hold their baby brother.

My heart swells when my chivalrous Stern puts out his arm so I won't fall.

The weather front has moved on and the pain is easing.

My life is good and there's no need to cry.

I can choose to keep smiling despite the pain.

I am happy.

Learning To Let Go

2011-12-13T15:20:00.001-09:00

My children love putting up the tree but I was dragging my feet this year and I didn't know why.

Possibly it was the fact that I haven't been able to get back into my full routine since the birth of Mr. Binks. Or because my house always seems messy from homeschooling.

I normally love to decorate.

One evening my little Cheroo said that she was really cold. She wasn't feeling well and I helped her into the tub. As I sat next to her prostrate little body I was feeling sorry for myself. I was thinking of all of the things that I used to do. I felt like I didn't get to do "anything" anymore.

While in this state of mind I was tenderly scooping warm water over her and a sudden peace came over me as I cared for my precious little girl. This IS what I like to do. This IS what matters.

I slowly stood up and walked downstairs to my other children to let them know that they could go ahead and put up the tree themselves while I held Cheroo. They were elated! This year I just sat on the couch witnessing their excitement and creativity from a distance and realized that they really don't need me to be directing all of this Christmas business. I just needed to let go.

This has become my favorite year setting up the Christmas tree because I really am doing what I love.

I am amazed that 8 lbs. of flesh can turn a household upside-down. Isn't it wonderful?

Reflections ~

2011-12-04T08:00:00.000-09:00

When I clean the house they mess it up.

When I cook a meal they eat it up.

When I change a diaper they poop it up.

When I ask them to stop they keep it up.

When I buy new things they beat it up.

When I clean the bathroom they stink it up.

When my flesh is weak they fire it up.

When my soul is empty they fill it up.

When my heart is sad they cheer it up.

I don't do it because it's easy.

I don't do it because it's fun.

I do it 'cause it's worth it.

And I love each and every one.

Edible Christmas Trees

2011-12-02T07:47:00.001-09:00

This adorable idea came from Pupa's American Girl Magazine. So easy & so fun!!

Use white frosting to frost a sugar cone (or cream cheese ~ my fav!!)

Cover the frosting in green sugar sprinkles (or whatever those are called!)

Use icing and Christmas-y sprinkles to decoreate

My kids loved this!

For a finishing touch just sprinkle powdered sugar over the top for some "snow"

A Creeper From Outer Space

2011-11-28T08:00:00.001-09:00

Last spring I wrote about Stern's decision to move the sheds. If you missed it you can read about it HERE. In short, I pulled our eldest son out of school to help and witnessed my husband "log rolling" our sheds across our land to their new resting place.

I was filming this amazing (yet primitive) feat while our little girls were gleefully jumping on the trampoline as you can see HERE.

Little did we know that someone else was taking pictures that day!

The Creeper in the Sky!

Could they have picked a worse time to take a historical photo of our place? You'll see back behind the house there is an enormous pile of CRAP that was hauled out of three sheds that day prior to their journey to their new home. My husband had also just torched an enormous pile of felled trees the size of our house (that was epic people).

And! It's' breakup in Alaska ~ the absolute ugliest time of year!

If you look closely at the bottom of the picture you'll see the little yellow bulldozer driven by a teeny, tiny Stern along with the shed that my eldest son is standing in to make sure nothing snapped inside during the move. Oh! And the cute, little trampoline my girls were jumping on.

For some reason this picture makes our lives seem so small!

You know, I'm really not sure how I feel about being photographed from space. Especially when I can pin-point the day it was taken. We would have all been outside waving had we known that a satellite was pointed directly at us at that moment.

Creepy.

New Website Launch, a GIVEAWAY & I fixed the link . . .

2011-11-26T19:27:00.012-09:00

I'm so excited about the new addition to jill'E'jam.com!

jill'E'jam CARES for the fam

For those of you who are looking for the huge Black Friday Deals that I posted earlier (and have since deleted), you will now find them by clicking on the LINK above.

Have a look-see & let me know your thoughts.

Here's to health

from jill'E'jam's fam to yours!

********************************************

Holiday Giveaway!

All you have to do is click to publicly follow jill'E'jam CARES for the fam AND leave a comment!

You'll be in the drawing for a

15 mL bottle of doTERRA Peppermint!

GIVEAWAY ends 11/30/11 at NOON

Tell yer friends!

A Day in the Life of . . .

2011-11-23T08:00:00.002-09:00

'Round these parts we have us a high-schooler, a middle-schooler, two grade-schoolers, a pre-schooler, a toddler, and a newborn.

My days seem to be running together at this point without any differentiation between day and night; sleep and naps.

Mr. Binks is up at five a.m.

The older childrens' alarms begin at six a.m. and the pounding on the bathroom door commences. Doors open and shut over and over and over as I cringe just hoping the younger children won't wake up. Sometimes they do but most times they don't. We're then out the door by seven.

I come home to hungry children and fix food, feed bellies, administer medication, change diapers, dress little bodies, fix a bottle, get water, comb hair, direct traffic to brush teeth, wipe the child on the potty, put a pull-up on the other (who knows why at this point), use the potty myself and watch little fingers wiggle under the door all while replying to the repeated knocks "mommy can't hear when I'm in the bathroom" over and over.

Laundry is loaded in the washer, dishwasher unloaded, breakfast dishes gathered, wait ~ they're hungry again. Fix more food, gather dishes again, pull out something for dinner, direct children in their "daily chore." It's time to pick up the middle schooler.

Direct math, sneak a cat nap (that sometimes lasts two hours), redirect school activities, change diapers, redirect school activities, wipe bums, redirect school activities, console someone crying, time to pick up high schooler, off to physical therapy, no time to fix dinner, pick up pizza, try not to forget to put thawed meat back into the fridge, eat dinner, clean up, homework, stop children racing around the "circle" on their scooters, change diapers, make a bottle. . .

Time for family scripture study, tell pre-schooler to stop tackling everyone, give up on getting toddler to even stay in the room (it's more peaceful that way!), kneel for family prayer, group hug, get nailed in the mouth and get a bloody lip, bite said lip and try to keep smiling.

Tuck in toddler and grade-schooler, tuck in pre-schooler, toddler's back up, tuck in again, pre-schooler needs a drink, ablige and tuck in again, toddler is scared, "no you're not, go to bed," middle-schooler needs help with his new iTouch, high-schooler has homework, high-schooler is typing 'til after ten o'clock, Mr. Binks falls asleep at eleven thirty p.m., high-schooler wants to talk.

Feeding at three-thirty a.m.

Back up at five-thirty a.m.

And we do it all over again!

I'm sure I will miss this . . . sometimes that can be hard to imagine though!

I'm tired . . .

The New Biggest Loser ~ Literally!

2011-11-21T12:46:00.001-09:00

Anyone who knows me knows that there are often times when I am a no-show.

There's a lot going on around here and things come up unexpectedly that interfere with my well laid plans.

But this time I get the Biggest Loser Award ~ and not for weight loss.

I slept through the first half of my own baby shower this morning.

No. I'm not kidding.

Really.

Who does that!?!

My sweet friend, knowing that Mr. Binks is usually up all night, didn't call me until AN HOUR AFTER IT STARTED! She knew I was sleeping!

Sure enough ~ I was just getting dressed when the call came. I was SO out of it that when I saw her name on callerID, it didn't even ring a bell.

Here's our conversation:

Clueless Me: "Hello?"

Sweet friend trying NOT to laugh at me: "Hey Jill! How is your morning?"

Still CM: "Great! I just woke up!"

SFTNLAM: "Oh good! I'm glad you got some sleep. I was wondering if you might have forgot."

I could hear the smile in her voice as my mind was spinning and my eyes darted to the clock trying to remember where I was supposed to be.

CM: "(gasp) Ooooohhhhhhh . . . Why didn't you call me sooner!!??!!"

SFTNLAM: "I couldn't bring myself to! I knew you were sleeping!"

Oh the shame!

I shall never show my face in public again and wear hoodies the rest of my life!

"I Don't Want To Go On A Date!"

2011-11-18T08:00:00.001-09:00

Because Cheroo was born without her thyroid she has to get pokies a lot.

I've tried to make these days fun for her so it doesn't seem so traumatic.

We get ice cream and she gets to pick out a My Little Pony (which she always immediately comes home and cuts the tail off. . . doh!).

She still cries but it's not so bad ~ maybe.

Recently I said "Cheroo, would you like to come to town with me?"

I was shocked when I heard "I don't want to go on a date with you!"

Come to find out she now associates going out with me with the dreaded "pokies."

I can't win for losing! This had to change, and fast!! We had another blood draw coming up.

I took her with me to run errands and she didn't suspect anything when it was "poky day."

She is so innocent. She looked up at me with her big eyes and said "why are we here?"

I told her we just had to do a few things before we went to Target.

We entered the lab and when I told them her name I immediately felt her chubby arms wrap around my leg. Then the quiet whimpering began. It broke my heart.

She bravely held out her arm to get stuck, let out a boisterous yell, and it was over.

She even smiled for a picture afterward to send to her grandma.

I was so proud of her.

We then had a doughnut, checked out the hospital gift shop, and she picked out her Pony at Target.

Maybe dates with mom won't be so bad from now on . . .

A Mid-Life Crisis ~ of Sorts

2011-11-16T08:00:00.002-09:00

Last month we had our seventh child.

We now consists of nine.

Some would say we should buy a bigger vehicle.

Alas ~ I wanted smaller so I can't take everyone with me.

Genius!

I love, love, love my little 1998 Suzuki Sidekick!!

Cheap, great gas mileage, FOUR seats, 5-speed, power nothing, 4WD, & a cassette player! Good thing I didn't get rid of all of my tapes from high school, eh?

The best part ~ when my children say "can I come? Can I come? Can I come?" I can lovingly reply, "I would love to take you but I don't have enough seats."

Sometimes it's nice to downsize.

Check This Out

2011-11-14T08:00:00.004-09:00

I just had to show this off.

It doesn't happen often.

Uh. . . it's clean!

Pathetic, I know. I'm fishin' for compliments here people.

**And for those of you who are wondering ~ yes, my children broke the lid off the meat/cheese drawer. Its initiation is over.**

To Be Able to Hear . . .

2011-11-09T15:38:00.000-09:00

A special speaker came to Alaska this past weekend for a special conference. I could hardly contain myself when I had heard he was coming . . . and to our stake center!

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.

It is Elder Holland who speaks to my heart. It is Elder Holland who prepares his message for me, and for me only. I'm sure of it.

Imagine my excitement at finding out I would be able to sit at the feet of this apostle. What an experience it would be!!

Then the day came.

My young children were relatively well-behaved for the first speakers but my anxiety began to rise as they burned out and it was getting closer to hearing Elder Holland.

I even took Chubbs for a little walk in the hall to try to calm her down just before he would stand to address us.

Uh. That didn't work.

She ran from me, turning her adorable eyes up at me long enough to say "Get me, Mom! C'mon! Get me!" And she was off.

I got her back in as Elder Holland was ready to speak.

Here is what I heard ~

"Brothers and Sisters . . . " Chubbs started messing my hair. Not good with short hair.

"And yes . . . an example . . . read all I can about early apostles . . . leave a blessing . . . "

I was getting beat to a pulp here people. Chubbs was DONE.

". . . brethren . . . priesthood . . . sisters . . . banner of faith . . . children . . ." I missed all that. I was trying to stay dressed at this point.

The thought came that I had so many times when my first three children were these young ages. "Why on earth do I do this!?!" And the answer came to my heart, just as it always did. "Because it is right."

I felt at peace.

Alas, I will say that I am grateful to have heard the fireside given by Elder Holland the night before via the internet within the comfortable walls of my own home where my little ones could snuggle, run around, sing, fight, or do whatever else they did in front of my while I listened.

Postpartum Homeschool Moments

2011-11-07T21:26:00.000-09:00

Did you know that during the Revolutionary War secret messages were written with invisible ink?

Why, yes.

And that special ink was . . . lemon juice.

In order to read the message you would hold the paper over a candle and the heat burns the lemon juice revealing the secret.

The only draw back ~ you have to be careful not to burn up the message like I did when I was demonstrating this coolness to my children. Picture me in the family room calmly explaining how careful you have to be and then running through the house with a flaming piece of paper trying to get to the kitchen sink.

One of those awesome homeschool moments.

Then there's the tasty gingerbread we made.

I think Chubbs was adding her own ingredients.

Sometimes we just want to have fun in the dress-up box. Here's Pupa trying to convince me that this outfit has something to do with American History.

I'm not so sure it was Batgirl that helped the Patriots win the war.

Beautiful Heartbreak

2011-11-02T08:00:00.029-08:00

In light of what I have gone through so recently, this new song/video from Hilary Weeks has greatly touched my heart.

My favorite part is seeing everyone hold their signs displaying their unseen heartbreaks.

I was reflecting on an opportunity I had a few years back to serve in the church where I knew things about the women I was serving that others did not know, and I could not share. I realized how easy it was to love those women because I knew their circumstances; even those who seemed unlovable. It occurred to me the real challenge is to love each other when we cannot see their heartbreaks.

Can we really find joy in the challenges we face?

I would not have asked to suffer from postpartum depression five out of seven births. But maybe, just maybe it has shaped me into the person I am today.

I would not have asked to be in pain from Rheumatoid Arthritis but maybe, just maybe it has made me slow down and find the hidden treasures in life that I would have otherwise missed had I continued on the same course.

Is it possible that our "beautiful heartbreaks" could be tender mercies from a God who loves us and doesn't want us to return to Him the same as we left, but better? Much better?

Before the birth of our baby, and for the first time, I held my sign high. I may have even sent out postcards, passed out flyers, and hung a banner in front of my home.

Postpartum Depression:

Just help me through.

Please don't leave me alone.

And I made it through.

There is no shame in heartbreaks. There is no shame in suffering. There is so much we don't know about each other. If we all held up our sign there would be such an outpouring of love and support.

What sign do you hold?

Please leave an anonymous comment or attach your name if you'd like. I think we would all be surprised at the heartaches that are out there.

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I'm Free!

2011-10-30T20:13:00.001-08:00

It always amazes me how quickly I lose my mind once my babies are born.

I have felt absolutely fantastic for three weeks and the last day my wonderful mother was here I could feel the anger and irritation starting. Within one to two days I felt like I was failing. Like there was no way I could do it and I was ruining life for everyone around me.

Before the birth of our son I had told several people my plan to ward off the almost inevitable Postpartum Depression that follows delivery. Of course, I hoped it wouldn't come, but I was realistic since it has reared its ugly head four out of six times.

Thankfully, these same wonderful people I told my plan to immediately pounced on me the moment I began slipping, reminding me of my master plan.

Meals cooked and frozen for the crazy days. Done.

Nurse 3-4 weeks and wean Peanut.

Take antidepressants, if necessary.

The problem is, my crazy brain wouldn't agree with the master plan.

I wanted to nurse. I didn't have bottles. I didn't have formula. I hate formula poops. I hate formula burps in my face. I hate washing bottles. Only good mothers nurse their babies. Yadda, yadda, yadda.

I couldn't think clearly and I was crashing hard and fast.

This is the third time a dear friend of mine has seen me go through this first hand and she can tell by my voice when I start down that slippery slide. She reminded me of my plan, bossed me around, and I obeyed. I bought the bottles & formula that day.

My little peanut is now taking a bottle and 24 hours later I can't believe the thoughts I was having.

It really is a miracle.

I am free from my own mind and I am not ashamed!

Sunshine

2011-10-29T15:07:00.000-08:00

Hello, sunshine. It's been too long since I've felt your beautiful warmth upon my face.

And how much have I missed because I've been focused on everything wrong?

This road just felt so long, I forgot to lift my head to see you . . .

Fill my dark skies. Make me see the light.

Life is fine, so bring in the sunshine.

- Mercy River

I love this song . . .

A Birthday, a Baptism, and a Blessing

2011-10-26T13:12:00.000-08:00

Look who turned eight!

And what a day it was! 100% Pupa-Style.

There was the cake:

This dang doughnut cake cost more than a Costco sheet cake!

There was the party:

There was the baptism:

And there was a blessing:

I can't imagine there exists a more grateful, genuine birthday girl as Pupa.

After her daddy had lowered her into the water, completing the ordinance of baptism, she exclaimed with a beaming smile, "I got baptized! I got baptized!" And into the dressing room "I got baptized! I got baptized!" as she clutched the towel around her wet little body.

While dressing her back into her clothing she became concerned that her hair was too tangly to comb out. I assured her that it was okay because grandma had brought her brush for her to use. Her face beamed as she turned and said "oh! bless her heart."

She is filled with so much love and innocence.

Pupa is pure gold.

Welcome, my daughter, to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

I Need Confessions

2011-10-24T18:25:00.001-08:00

While perusing the feminine isle for some needed **ahem** items . . . I came across these.

Really!?!

A thong pad . . . in the shape of a triangle!!

Will someone PLEASE tell me how on earth this works? And you must admit if you use them. Your secret is safe here **wink, wink**

Back to School - Newborn Style

2011-10-20T10:46:00.001-08:00

It's back to the grind for these kids.

Peanut has been the most precious addition to our family and life has returned to semi-normal much quicker than my homeschooling children expected.

The schedule slows down but isn't family and the new baby really the lesson right now?

Read-Alouds with biggest and lit'lest brother

Painting with all of the safety essentials: Princess dress & swimming goggles

Blood, Stitches, & Pokies

2011-10-14T19:20:00.000-08:00

Two days after arriving home with our new bundle o' joy, life was right back to normal.

And life wouldn't be normal without a trip to the ER.

Oh yes.

While Stern was acting as stand-in mom (because you know I'm always out driving on my tractor), Cheroo decided she was hungry. With all of the children either in the basement or upstairs with the baby and I, and dad on the tractor, she did what any self-respecting 4-year-old would do. She set to work making herself a sandwich.

While nursing I hear crying as Cheroo is making her way up the stairs to me. Her words are unclear at first. Yet as they grow louder I hear "I didn't mean to, Mommy. I didn't mean to!"

This is when I catch the first sight of the blood covering her hand and running down her arm.

What on Earth!?!

I see her finger has been filleted open through the fat pad and knew this was beyond my skills.

We make our way downstairs and it's now that I see the shattered jelly jar on the floor that she so sweetly tried to clean up herself.

Pupa had already ran to get her dad (this is her standing job ~ get help when there's blood) and I gave him orders to take her to the ER so they would give her 'sleepy juice' before they tried to sew her up.

This sweet girl has been poked with needles since day ONE of her life because she was born without a thyroid. She hates "pokies." And that is an understatement!

Poor Stern had already been traumatized the day before when he found out he had to hold her down for her thyroid blood draw. He now had to witness three men holding her down to sew up her finger.

No sleepy juice!!

This poor girl is so terrified of doctors now and I don't think this will ever change for her. No matter how many toys they give her afterward!

While changing the bandage the next day I had to ask Stern if my eyes were seeing correctly.

The wound was still bleeding, there was a stitch in the middle of the fat pad (no cut there) and another stitch in the flap (not through both sides).

I'm thinking I should take a picture of the awesome stitch job and send it in with their little ER survey they just sent me and ask if they really think I should pay for it.

It Is Finished!

2011-10-12T11:51:00.000-08:00

What happened next seemed to take an eternity.

I was shaking uncontrollably which is apparently what most women experience in transition, but not me. This was very new and I was exhausted! I was still only effaced to 80% on one side but was ready to push.

The cramping was excruciating. The labor contractions paled in comparison. I couldn't do my fancy hypnobreathing through my contractions because the searing pain of the cramping forced me to just suffer through.

My midwife would calmly say something like "some women say it feels like cramping." Seriously. Did I look like I'd just fallen off the turnip wagon? I have done this pleeeeeenty of times to know that it has NEVER felt like that.

I couldn't take it anymore and I told her I wanted the "belt" taken off. My midwife refused for fear that his head would bob back up like a balloon again. I'm sure I yelled something along the lines of "TAKE IT OFF!" or "I WANT IT OFF NOW!" because she conceded and removed that awful thing.

Let me just clue you in that you can't push a baby through a semi-dilated/effaced cervix. There's a reason why it has to be complete. It won't fit. So what does an amazingly knowledgeable midwife do? She reaches in and moves that cervix right out of the way. Niiiiice.

In 70 seconds this little guy was born with his fist over his face. Well no wonder there was so much cramping and no progression in labor. It's a nice round head that does all the work during contractions. Not the irregular shape of a head with a fist attached.

The pain of delivering his head, his fist, and my midwifes fist was about more than I could take. When I laid back on the bed with my breathing little bundle I could see three faces leaning over me but they were in a blurred tunnel. I was passing out.

This is the sweetest little baby that has come into our family ~ but I would push out my 10 pound Pupa any day over this little guy and two fists.

And he takes a binky! ~ Hallelujah!!

Pause & Play ~ Part III

2011-10-08T08:00:00.004-08:00

My midwife returned to the room to find me sitting on the bed ~ all done.

She was inspired to ask me these specific words:

"Jill, are you afraid of something?"

The flood gates opened as I began to bawl like a little girl.

Yes, I was afraid! The delivery hurts and I know what I'm in for. I've been fearing the birth my entire pregnancy and knew the pain I would have to endure all too keenly.

Yes, I was afraid! For months I've been afraid that he wouldn't take his first breath. I hadn't expressed my fear to anyone but didn't want to go through all of this just to hold a precious, lifeless body.

Yes, I was afraid! So much hinged on this birth. I am terrified that the Rheumatoid Arthritis will return and I will be in too much pain to cuddle my sweet baby boy.

Yes, I was afraid! I don't want to return to the debilitating, terrifying place called post-partum depression. I know who I am! I don't want to lose that knowledge to uncontrollable thoughts of worthlessness and hopelessness where I can't see the forest for the trees and feel that everyone else would be better off without me. I don't want to go back there!

As all of these emotions came flooding out of my mouth I could see the loving, tender look on Stern's face as he took me in his arms. My midwife told me that the decision has already been made by Someone whether he would take his first breath but I still have to do what needs to be done right now. She then left me time to be with my loving husband.

This was a moment that I cannot find words to describe here that happens between a husband and wife. There is power that comes from knowing our family is eternally bound ~ not because it feels right, but because it has been sealed by the proper authority in the Temple. I knew I was loved by my Father in Heaven and He would not leave me in my time of need.

I stood, asked Stern to turn on my Mercy River CD, and said "I can do hard things."

The fear was gone ~ replaced by peace and courage that I was not alone. Come what may, I could do what was required of me.

Play, Pause Again ~ Part II

2011-10-07T08:00:00.004-08:00

On the way to the birth center I contacted my midwife to let her know I thought things were moving fast so she could call the assistant.

Ha.

After several hours of hard contractions I was . . . 4 cm dilated and 80% effaced.

Um ~ that's where I was two days earlier! I prayed for help to know what was wrong and what I could do to right it.

Let me just say I have been known to say that my births are never a spiritual experience for me. I hear others talk about their experiences and wonder what I'm missing. I just feel sorry for myself in pain and usually the most spiritual I get is yelling some demand, like, "HELP ME!!"

This time was different. I didn't know what to do and was nearly in tears.

The image came to mind of a balloon bobbing up and down on water.

This is what happens when you have a long body and a uterus that has delivered a 10 lb baby. It's a little stretched and there is A LOT of room for a little guy to swim around.

Solution: Bind my stomach so he couldn't bob back up.

Check.

NOW things should get moving.

Not so much.

There were all sorts of "signs" (sparing you the details) that things were moving along but they weren't. I didn't know what else to do so I sat down on the bed and quit.

Yup. Just quit.

That's like me, you know. This was way too hard. I'd just try again later when he's . . . say two.

I was praying earnestly for help in my heart.

Something seemed wrong.

Play, Pause, Play ~ Part I

2011-10-06T08:00:00.003-08:00

Did you know you can just pause labor when it isn't a convenient time?

Me either.

Friday night I gave myself six hours to deliver L'il peanut and be back home before breakfast. It was such a well laid plan! Bo had her meds for her knee, the ice was changed in her icer, the house was clean . . . perfect.

Two minutes apart, dilating, effacing, mucus plug out, membranes stripped ~ he's on his way!

I was in labor but progressing RIDICULOUSLY slow. This was not like me and I was getting ticked as the hours passed and I could not get past 4 cm.

Come 8:00 AM Stern's cell phone rang and Bo was out of ice. I started giving instructions on how to start it up again and then thinking "all the kids are getting up. I don't have breakfast out. Will my little one's get cereal? Will Chubbs diaper get changed?"

Suddenly everything stopped.

STOPPED!

I was almost FIVE centimeters dilated, 80% effaced, a head lodged between my hips, and I was home typing on my %$#@$% BLOG!! The symbols really say stinkin'. It just looked more dramatic with symbols. . .

I couldn't buy a contraction all day Saturday or Sunday.

Needless to say . . . I was a little miffed!!

Sunday evening I asked Stern if he'd like to make salmon for the family and I laid down for a nap. He woke me for dinner and while eating someone suddenly pushed the play button and my contractions immediately picked up where they'd left off two days before.

"Are you almost done eating?" I asked.

"Nope" came the reply.

"You need to be done soon" I demanded (lovingly of course).

Within minutes I was in the car and Stern was running about all over our land covering up the tractor and tying up loose ends. I was panicking a little but at least he was running ~ and he didn't check the oil before we left. This is a common practice when we're in a hurry.

This is all L'il Peanut will let me write for now . . .

Be back soon!

I Think They're In Love . . .

2011-10-03T17:41:00.000-08:00

This announcement is a little more to my liking!

Stay tuned if you want to read the ordeal leading up to this little guys arrival. Little does not equal easy!

For now ~ I'm napping and enjoying this tiny, sweet new life.

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Did you get to listen to General Conference?

What was your favorite part?

I would love to read your uplifting stories while I'm nursing!

My Little Guy's Here!

2011-10-03T08:01:00.000-08:00

Welcome to baby Aaron (AJ) Butikofer
10/2/11
10:17 PM
20 1/2 inches
7#13oz
He's my littlest!

How Old Were You When You Got Engaged? & Updates

2011-09-30T08:00:00.002-08:00

On Sunday I was teaching a lesson on choosing an eternal companion.

It struck me between the eyes that in four short years my eldest daughter will be the same age I was when I met my Stern! Oh, believe me, I was SOOO mature and super wise beyond my years at that point to be making such a huge decision. Really. No, really.

Time has flown by and now I look at my beautiful Bo and I just want it to slow down. I look up to her in so many ways and she is such a great example to me. I can't think of anyone who will be better prepared to venture to off to college when the time comes. She is wise beyond her years.

So how old were you when you got engaged? I can't be the only one who was a teenager!

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Quick Update ~ Bo's surgery went awesome and the surgeon was able to find her own tendon to re-attach. Lots of pain in the night but we're hoping we're beyond the worst. I've become a "phan" of phenergan!

My Eager Little Helper

2011-09-29T08:00:00.003-08:00

Chubbs is growing up and I'm not ready for it. I could seriously eat this girl up!

I love her tiny voice, her huge smile that exposes her sweet dimple by her eye, and her ability to make us smile in the most tense of situations.

Her newest pursuit: unloading the silverware for her mother.

Of course, unloading the dirty silverware into the drawer also comes with the territory but I love it.

Toddlers are precious.

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It's the day of surgery for Bo. Please keep her in your prayers. Thanks so much!!

Bring On the Cadaver!

2011-09-27T08:00:00.001-08:00

Upon our return to the orthopedic doc we learned that Bo's meniscus is just fine.

Wonderful!

Buuuuut ~ she tore off her anterior patellofemoral ligament. "Her whaaaa?" was my thought.

She has a floating patella (aka knee cap) on one side. This means on Thursday we will be returning to Anchorage yet again, only this time to the hospital for surgery.

Bo even gets cadaver parts (oh yes, my friends ~ a dead person) to help put it all back together. I told her she should name it. She's hoping it will be bright purple, or something cool like that.

That's probably irreverent, huh? Yeah ~ sorry about that. It's therapy for a pretty frightened 14-year-old girl. We really are grateful for the donor but we can't help but wonder if it will be girl parts or boy parts. After all, I would hate for her to start walking bow-legged on one side because she got a cowboy cadavers' parts . . .

I digress.

Bo's surgery will consist of three holes, two under the knee and one above for scopes, and a four-inch incision to insert the "new/used" parts to anchor that darn patella back into place. And her doctor will be drawing her own blood to inject her stem cells back into the knee for healing.

He's pretty cutting edge.

So all prayers on Bo's behalf at this point would be greatly appreciated. As mentioned, she is pretty nervous and is hoping for a speedy recovery.

Thanks everyone!

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Better late than never!

The winner of the $10 gift certificate to Target is Comment #2!!!

Congratulations Bonnie!!

Stern's 40th Birthday Bash ~ Among Other Things

2011-09-26T08:00:00.003-08:00

It was a Par-Tay at our house over the weekend.

I'm not one to throw parties but I figured since Stern turned the big 4-0 last week I should try to put on some sort of surprise bash for him.

It was pretty easy to have a surprise party, I thought, because in all of our seventeen years together I have thrown him . . . let's see . . . ZERO parties. I figured it was time.

To make a long story short ~ I have tried to surprise Stern multiple times with gifts & things and he always ~~ruins it~~ figures it out. This time was different though. He was out of town for 10 days on a moose hunt and wouldn't even be home on his birthday. The invites were sent out via facebook (can I say that was the best way to invite?!) on Tuesday for a party on Friday. My kids were so excited they could hardly contain themselves.

He came home early. He was home on his birthday. He made so many plans upon his return that there was no time for a party. He wasn't even going to be here.

My pregnant emotions are kicking in at this point.

He has massive chores or the kids: paint the trim on the sheds, till the whole garden, etc. These are my cleaning helpers and he's just taken them away.

The day before the party (my only day to clean) he offers for other children to be babysat by me. I hear him in the other room say "let me make sure if it's okay with my wife if you drop them off here." He walks in, sees my eyes that are shooting daggers at him and overflowing with tears, and says "Um... she has other plans." Darn tootin' I did!

Then he shows up with this. . .

Road kill

A closer look

Yeah . . . people eat road kill in Alaska. Hey ~ it's good meat.

Here's the little gal when they get through with her.

She's neatly tucked into an itty-bitty garbage can. Click on it if you want to see her little hooves sticking out. {dry heave}

By this point, through clenched teeth I say "I was trying to throw a surprise party for you so I will surprise you right now and say it's tomorrow night and you have to slow down!"

So much for the surprise. I ruined it ~ but I totally blame it on him, of course. Because I'm pregnant, and I can.

After much therapy from a dear friend who better not ever become a therapist because I couldn't afford her, there was a party on Friday evening. So much fun!! We had over 75 men, women & children converge on our compound. My contribution to the party: three homemade chocolate sheet cakes, ice cream, and pre-made food from Costco. Everyone else brought the good food. Now that's the way to party!

Thank you, thank you to everyone who came to celebrate one foot in the grave with Stern!

Happy 40th Birthday, Stern!!

Comments Fixed? Me Hopes So...

2011-09-24T21:08:00.000-08:00

My comments have been broken for a while due to my rad tech skillz.

Me thinks I've fixed it.

So if you see a spot to leave a comment, leave one, and I'll send you a million dollars.

Okay, maybe not.

Maybe like a $10 gift card to Target though.

You can get ten pairs of socks in the dollar bins!!

I'm not even going to give a deadline for the comment. I'll just announce it sometime on Monday when I'm not having contractions.

Because I'm feeling so "I'm done being pregnant," I'll even throw in a surprise with the gift card if you make me laugh.

Okay, bye.

Brushing, Up-Chuck, & Nose Assaults

2011-09-23T08:00:00.005-08:00

Twice a year we have this ordeal of going to the dentist. Our children completely take over their office and I swear they have to order new toys to replenish their stash when we leave.

This time was Chubber's "Happy Visit" where she gets to sit in the chair and have a fun time at the dentist so she'll want to come back next time. I thought she'd love it. Not so much. She clamped her tiny lips shut and wouldn't budge. Not even to say "no." I would call it a "Mediocre Visit" this time.

Surprisingly, Cheroo hopped up in the chair! Six months ago was her "Happy Visit" at the ripe age of four and she wanted nothing to do with it. Here she was getting purple dye squirted in her mouth to reveal all of the places that ~~Mom missed~~ SHE missed. Her teeth were scrubbed, flossed ~ the works.

I was thinking back (Oh yes! A Friday Flashback!) when I was a kid and my brother and I would pile into my dad's bed on a Saturday morning. I seriously don't know how they could stand us there with our poop breath. When my kids (I won't mention names) don't brush and want to talk to me incessantly I think I am going to up-chuck all over myself. I finally have to say "Pleeeeease go brush your teeth! It smells like someone pooped in your mouth!" Is that gross? Sheer honesty I tell you.

I'm sure all of your children brush their teeth faithfully, morning and night, so you haven't had to experience this.

No Time!

2011-09-22T08:00:00.002-08:00

I've looked through my calander and there is no time to have this baby.

I can't squeeze it in.

We found out that Bo will have to have surgery to repair her patellar fibular ligament which she tore off. This would be instead of meniscus surgery which the original PA thought may be needed until the MRI showed the real problem to the actual orthopedic doc.

Awesome.

We've decided to have the surgery and the baby at the same time. Stern will be home to help Bo around for the first week or so after surgery and I'll just drop by the birth center to have them catch the little guy and head home.

It all sounds perfect.

Can someone just let the baby know the plan so he follows along? Thanks.

My Best Me . . .

2011-09-21T08:00:00.001-08:00

About a year ago I had an a-ha moment that has stuck with me.

It has stuck with me so much that I had a vinyl sign made as a reminder to me ~~that still hasn't been hung because the wall has to be painted first.~~

I was running every which direction trying to please everyone around me. If there was a free space on my calendar I was willing to fill it leaving no blank spots by the time the week started.

One can only do this for so long before one crashes and burns. Of course, I was this "one."

I was giving all that I had to everyone and everything and my husband and family got what was left over. And let me tell you, there wasn't much left over after running ragged all day.

Something had to change and while praying this was the thought that came to mind:

My Best Me . . . For My Family

Wow! How things changed!

How often do we give all that we have to a class for a good grade, work for that bonus, our calling, our exercise, or our hobbies and by the time we get home to our families we have nothing left to give. We rush through the evening grateful the children are in bed.

What if I changed all of that and did it backwards? Instead of spending hours on hand-outs, posters, etc., what if I spent that same amount of time on Family Home Evening, family scripture study, and left time after family prayer to talk, share our thoughts/feelings, and got everyone tucked into their beds filled with love for each of them.

I wanted that.

When I l began looking at my calendar and set aside time to dress and bathe children, cook meals, get laundry not only washed & dried but folded & put away, reading time, games, etc., there were only certain blocks available for other engagements. "I" was in charge of my time!

This also helped me to realize that it was okay to say "no" and I didn't feel like I had to explain or make excuses. I simply was not available. The consequences of not getting home by 3:30 meant that there would not be dinner on the table that night... or it was pizza. That gets expensive with a big family!

Incidentally I found that people don't like it when you say no and don't give them an explanation. Everyone wants to decide for themselves if your reason for saying no is "valid" in their mind. Try it. It can be entertaining.

My family needs me and when I put them first it is rewarding, calming, & uplifting.

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And btw ~ If you want to get my quote on a cute board to hang on your wall ~ check it out HERE at the bottom of the page. So cute!!

The Testimony Glove

2011-09-20T08:00:00.019-08:00

Weekend before last, while attending Time Out for Women, I purchase the cutest book called The Testimony Glove. You can pick it up HERE if you're interested.

Gathering all of the children into the same room can be an ordeal. I get three in and while I go off looking for more, the first one's leave or go make a sandwich, and then I want them to come in but they can't because they have to eat in the kitchen, and on, and on, and on. Finally I stand in one place and yell "TIME FOR FAMILY HOME EVENING!" It's awesome.

After Pupa led us in a labor-inducing dance for the opening song "Do As I'm Doing" we knelt together for the opening prayer. I'm still trying to figure out why Chubber's runs off and refuses to EVER fold her arms. I'm too fat to chase her down at this point so she gets away with everything.

The children gathered around as I began to read The Testimony Glove and Coyote was my helper wearing the glove. I will admit that the younger children's attention span only lasted through half of the book so we're going to finish next Money. Aaaaand, I had to glue all of the velcro stickies back onto the glove because my children pulled them all off when they opened it. They brake everything.

After a closing prayer we ate the most delicious cinnamon rolls dropped off by Angie J. as a thank you for playing the piano Sunday night. Man, I will play the piano for her anytime if this is my payment! Yum, yum!!

Ahhhh . . . the wonderful chaos of it all.

Accompaniment by a Non-Pianist

2011-09-19T08:00:00.002-08:00

I DID IT!!

On Sunday evening I accompanied the beautiful Young Women singing "Guardians of Virtue" at a wonderful Stake Fireside.

Did I make mistakes?

I actually did a little in the beginning. But I don't even feel sad.

It was after those mistakes that I decided that I just had to put my faith in my Heavenly Father to help my fingers go where they knew they should because I had done all that I could do to learn it.

He helped me.

Four different times I got distracted by a movement close-by. When I set my fingers on the unknown keys they were the right notes! I would silently thank my Heavenly Father because I knew there was help there for me.

I am so thankful that I didn't give up.

I did it.

The Highlight of My Summer

2011-09-16T07:55:00.000-08:00

Each year I venture out by myself with all of my children to the Alaska State Fair. This year I was tempted to find a babysitter for Chubbers due to her age but decided it just wouldn't be the same without everyone there.

I always choose a day when Stern is working, out of town, or otherwise engaged to save him the stress and anguish of seeing each of our children blow ridiculous amounts of their hard-earned money in such a short amount of time. I can see the sweat pouring down his forehead now ~ rippling through the multiple furrows in his brow. He doesn't protest the arrangements.

Here's how it works for our family:

Mom pays for parking and admission (fifty-two bucks!)
Mom buys ride tickets for children under 5
Buy your own food, junk, drinks, etc.
No one eats the food mom buys for herself (that means no bites, tastes, licks... nothin')
Mom doesn't carry any of your ~~crap~~ treasures

Our plan was to go on "buddy day" but the forecast was rain all week. While driving home Monday morning from picking up Jedrick in the SUNSHINE, I made a snap decision we were going right then. I pulled Bo out of high school unexpectedly, picked up the children, pulled cash out of the ATM (when it's gone, it's gone), and we headed north to the fair.

You can imagine how much people love being behind us in line when this happens. . .

Of course it takes FOREVER for all of them to squeeze their heads in. And we have to stop at EVERY one!

Going to the fair is an absolutely delightful time full of tons of laughing, treats, and all around silliness. They get my undivided attention all day long, and I get theirs.

The only downer this year: I couldn't go on a single ride with this basketball under my shirt. Next year!!

I LOVE FALL!!

Look Who Showed Up At Our Home!

2011-09-15T08:14:00.001-08:00

How is it that I am sitting here this morning with THE cutest dog in my house & sleeping with my son?

Do I look like a dog lover to you?

I've sworn off dogs. It's like another child and I already have too much poop to take care of around this place. Invent a poopless dog and I may consider it.

He showed up yesterday while all of my children were playing outside. He loved it here! Aaaaand decided not to leave. We thought if we just went inside and ignored him he would find his way home.

Nope.

He scratched and scratched my front door. I foolishly thought if I put up a gate it would keep him from scratching up my front door. He just climbed up on it and scratched higher.

Pretty soon I see this face staring in our french doors from the back yard.

And he was shaking from getting chilly.

Poor guy ~ Can I leave him out in the cold for the night?

People! I have a conscience. . . now.

So we're still trying to find his home. Last night I prayed for the family who owns him that they would be comforted. I can imagine how my family would feel if we couldn't find such a **dare I say** sweet little puppy. I say puppy cause he's already chewed up a ball, killed a stuffed animal, and mangled some legos by 8:00 this morning.

Hilarious.

Our cat has barricaded herself in a bedroom for the time being.

************** UPDATE ***************

After picking up Jedrick from school I decided to stop by the vet up the road from our home to see if they had one of those microchip scanners and they did.

He has a home!

When the gal called me we found out that he'd been stolen two months ago from her old mother 50 miles north of here! This makes us all happy that we are returning him to his rightful owner.

Don't we hang dog thieves? Wait. . . that's horse thieves. And we don't do that anymore.

The Wood Pile & Child Labor

2011-09-14T08:00:00.000-08:00

There has been a mountain of wood in my right front yard for, well, a couple of years now. (The same pile Stern referred to in his Guest Post). Some of you may remember when my truck was run through while hauling all those free logs from the side of the highway. Hey, everyone was doing it . . . just not everyone punctured their vehicle in the process.

My ever-so-loving Stern asked me what my inner-most desires were before this baby is born.

~~My response ~~~ ~~"Get that stinking pile out of my front yard!"~~

I mean ~ "Please take care of the wood in the yard."

He's so good to me.

Here's the whole family working to chainsaw, haul, & stack the wood . . . to a different part of my front yard. I'll take it.

I can't help but chuckle at Coyote on the left with his hands in his pockets. I'm sure he just finished throwing great loads of wood onto the front loader. And yes, Chubbers is still in her pajamas. Sometimes we forget to dress our wee one's.

I Think I Can, I Think I Can!

2011-09-13T08:00:00.009-08:00

This weekend I had a Time Out.

Being gone all evening Friday and most of the day Saturday my little 4-year-old asked her Dad one more time where mommy was. When he again told her that she was at Time Out for Women she asked "Is she in trouble?"

I love children!

When Stern and I were dating we tried to impress each other with our talents continually. I would bake him fantastic goodies and he would take me out on his motorcycle to all the local outdoor adventure spots. Each of us would play the piano for each other. . . he would play through a flawless Fur Elise and I would whip through a forearm cramping display of The Entertainer by Scott Joplin. We woo'd each other and were shortly married.

After marriage we both came to realize that the piano songs we so beautifully displayed for each other while dating were . . . uh . . . the only one's we knew. Sixteen years later they are still the songs we play from memory: The Spinning Song, Moonlight Sonata, The Entertainer. I'm sure there were more! Maybe not.

Opportunities to play the piano have come and gone over the years for me. Some experiences were wonderful. Others left me in tears from the debacle.

The sweet young women at church will be singing in sacrament meeting in October. I thought to myself "what a great opportunity! I will have eight weeks to learn the music (have a baby in the middle) and it will give me an excuse to get back to church after the birth of our son."

On the next Sunday it was announced that we had been volunteered to sing in front of all of the young women in our area and their parents. . . in two weeks. TWO WEEKS!

Because I've always been known to quit when things get too hard. . . or at least strategically go out of town or something . . . the wheels started turning on how I was going to get out of this.

I ran into my friend Suzie a few days later and explained my plight. I told her I would practice, practice, practice but if it came down to the day before and I didn't think I could do it, would she? She and her AMAZING piano skills happily agreed.

Yes. I was off the hook. OF COURSE I was going to call her!

Then ~

I attended Time Out for Women.

Here's the first quote I wrote in my cute notebook (thanks Susan!).

"You get strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. . . You must do the thing you think you cannot." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

I soon grabbed Suzie and said "I have to play. Don't let me call you." She laughed at me.

Of course I have to play! I cannot quit!

Why am I afraid? I am not a pianist! My mother is a pianist. Suzie is a pianist. I am a poser (again). I only had piano lessons in 1st grade and half of 2nd. I want to be a pianist. That's what it boils down to.

Alas, I will not give in to fear. I am going to play Guardians of Virtue in six days. I have faith that as I practice all I can I will be blessed to learn the music.

Tonight as all of my children gathered around behind me to sing the song while I was practicing my heart was filled to the brim.

It's worth it.

I can do hard things!!

It's Fall @ jillejam.com!!

2011-09-12T08:00:00.003-08:00

My wonderfully inspiring bestest friend informed me that Michael's was having a huge sale on fall decorations.

I LOVE FALL!

Does jill'E'jam invest in decorations?

Never.

With the exception of Christmas but my decor is OLD but LOVED.

This time I went all out ~ and I LOVE MY FRONT PORCH!!

HAPPY AUTUMN, MY FRIENDS!!

Hijacked Camera

2011-09-10T08:00:00.003-08:00

I love it when I download pictures off my camera and I find it has been hijacked by my children.

A photo shoot with Chubbers . . .

Guest Post from Stern ~ Flashback to Labor Day at the Theater Alone with Six Children

2011-09-09T09:59:00.000-08:00

Last Monday was Labor Day. I figured that was a perfect reason to labor. I decided to tackle the huge pile of birch tree logs that has been decorating my front yard for the past two summers (my wife informed me the log décor was a bit too redneck for her taste). I started cutting logs with my new Husquavarna chain saw and stacking them by the fence. I could tell that was going to take months to complete. So I recruited my kids to help…after a promise that I'd take them to a movie when we got done.

The movie started at 1:20 pm, so we worked like crazy and about 12:30 the 14-year-old began to poke her head out the front door to give us reminders every 5 minutes that it was time to go. At about 12:55 we finally chopped up the last tree. We dashed in the house, changed clothes, and bolted to the door to leave. That's when my wife informed me that the 2-year-old was going with us. Wait a second…that wasn't in the contract. I tried to protest but she gave me one of her Mother-Mandate looks and I knew resistance was futile.

So off we drove in a cloud of dust. I thought about dropping off a load of cardboard at the recycling center on the way but that drew serious threats of mutiny by the crew. They were not to be deterred from an on-time arrival to watch Kung Fu Panda 2. As we pulled up to the theater, we noticed a long line of people winding for miles. Fear struck as the children realized the movie was about to start and they would still be stuck in line…worse yet, maybe it was sold out. I dropped them off to get a spot in line and went to park the truck.

As I was walking to the theater I noticed a very short line of people at what looked like an ATM. I approached and asked if the machine sold tickets. Yes, was the answer, if you have a credit card. I had one, so I stood in line for a short while and purchased 7 tickets for the show. I waved my kids out of the line and we ran in to watch the show… that is, most of us did.

The 13-year-old and the 7-year-old stealthily lagged behind to purchase candy and other goodies while the rest of us found a seat. The seats were low to the ground and C shaped…a killer for bad backs. "That's OK," I thought, "I can survive."

As the show began, the 4-year-old began to cry that she was scared. I brought her over to sit next to me so I could comfort her. The 2-year-old was crawling onto my lap. The show started and all was well. Everyone was focused on the movie. Then the 13-year-old and 7-year-old entered and found us in the dark.

"Daddy, I'm hungry," sang the 4-year-old.

"I don't have any food," was my reply.

"How come they get candy?"

"Because they bought it."

"I want some."

"No."

Then the treks to the aisle seats where the 13-year-old and 7-year-old were sitting started. In the dark I could hear, "can I have some"…"No"…"I want some"…"It's mine, I bought it"…crying and whining…

So I lean over and whisper-shout…"can you just give her a little please?"

"But Dad, it's mine!"

"I don't care…she's making everyone miserable!"

The 4-year-old got some candy, came back to her seat, and went back for more candy. There was a scuffle and a short argument. She got more candy and came back to her seat. Then the 2-year-old realized the 4-year-old was eating candy.

"Daddy, I sum?"

It was useless to argue at this point. The 2-year-old went to the aisle seats and asked for some candy. There was another scuffle and a short argument. She came back with candy and climbed on my lap. Then the 4-year-old went to the aisle seats and asked for some candy. There was another scuffle and a short argument. She came back and sat down. Suddenly, the 2-year-old and the 4-year-old began to argue over who had what candy and who needed to share what with whom.

I tried to distract both of them…"look at the Panda and the wolves punching each other," I said. That worked for about 2 minutes. Finally the candy ran out. Thanks goodness!

"Daddy, I need to go to the bathroom," Right. We gotta take care of that. Do you take a 4-year-old girl into the men's bathroom and help her or do you send her into the women's room by herself?

Back to the movie. Everyone there must hate me by now. The 2-year-old has totally lost interest at this point. She keeps trying to make aisle escapes. I whisper/shout at the 13-year-old to stop her because he is so into the movie he doesn't notice the 2-year-old pushing past his knees and heading for the aisle. Finally the 2-year-old realizes we won’t let her escape and run up and down the aisle in the dark. She starts to cry. I again try to distract. "Look at all the Peacock and the Panda beating up on each other." That works for a few minutes. Then the 2-year-old loses interest again and swipes the 7-year-old's wallet. I hear coins hit the floor. At least she's occupied and stayed occupied for nearly the rest of the movie.

My back is killing me.

As the movie finally ends, the 7-year-old realizes the 2-year-old has her wallet and her coins are all over the floor. She breaks into a million emotional pieces…tears, puffy eyes, flushed cheeks. I get down on the floor and start picking up coins. As we leave the theatre and the 7-year-old counts the coins, her emotional outburst elevates. "Dad, she lost thirty-nine cents!"

"I'll pay you the dang 39 cents, just stop crying!" That created even more tears. We head out to the car.

It still wasn’t over.

The 14-year-old on crutches is now racing her 13-year-old brother for the front seat. Of course the 13-year-old gets there first and jumps in and locks the door. The 14-year-old begins to beat on the window, yelling at the 13-year-old. I ignore and load the wailing 7-year-old in and buckle the 4-year-old and 2-year-old in their seats as one cries she's hungry and the other cries she's cold. The 14-year-old jumps in behind her brother and decks him in the side of the head. I know I should say something but it was such and good hit I let it go.

As I drive home I think to myself…how in the world does my wife deal with these people all day long?

Getting My Crafty On

2011-09-08T08:00:00.003-08:00

Anyone who knows me would tell you that I was sick the day that crafty skills were passed out. I really can only accomplish anything if I copy from someone else.

BUT ~ this time is different!

I have wanted silhouettes of my children for months. I went to Salvation Army and purchased some odd, wooden, modge-podged wall hangings. And I made this whole thing up!!

Here's my kids. Can you tell who is who?? ~~Just lie to me if you can't.~~

Here's how I did it.

I had each of my children sit in front of a bright window and look straight ahead for a picture. Here's an example of one of those.

I printed each of them 3x5 and cut them out.

I then traced around them with pen on black paper.

After cutting each silhouette on black paper I chose yellow for the background and cut each paper to the size of the wood.

Using spray glue I stuck them all together and modge podged over all of it.

I'm so excited with how they turned out!

Back to the Orthopedic Surgeon

2011-09-07T08:00:00.001-08:00

I've always taken pride in the fact that my children don't break their bones.

Bo decided to ruin our running record last spring when she broke her growth plate in her wrist learning to snowboard.

I knew something was wrong when I got a call from the school and had to pick up Bo because she wrenched her knee. With her super high pain tolerance I kept asking what her pain was on a scale of 1-10. She kept saying two or three. This girl didn't shed a tear when she broke her arm! The fact that she wouldn't walk on it was a red flag though and I decided I'd better have it checked out.

Sure enough . . . Bo tore her meniscus.

I had no idea what the meniscus was! Apparently it is the padding between the two leg bones coming together.

She wishes, wishes, wishes she had some cool story behind the injury ~ like she spiked the volleyball breaking the nose of the girl on the other side of the net scoring the winning point.

Alas, Bo was running to the seminary building in the pouring rain with a gaggle of other girls under one umbrella and when she stopped . . . her knee didn't.

In a couple of weeks we'll check back in with the doc to see if surgery will be necessary to fix the injury. In the meantime, we are praying for a miracle.

Organizing the "Ugly" Side of the Fridge

2011-09-06T08:00:00.004-08:00

Do you wonder what in the world to do with all of the papers your kids bring home from school?

How about keeping track of pens, markers, schedules, etc.?

I was THRILLED to see this post from the amazingly talented Landee. You can check out her other
cool projects HERE.

This is one of my favorites!!

Look at her amazing before and after pics! She even gives a full tutorial on how to make the transformation.

Check out Landee's site. She's SUPER talented and has lots of freebies!!

A Pain in the Belly!

2011-09-05T16:43:00.002-08:00

I had this fabulous idea that I would make two lasagnas tonight . . . one for dinner and one for after the baby is born. Hence, if two meals are made each day I shouldn't have to cook for a long time.

The sauce was done and the timer beeped for the noodles.

I poured the boiling water into the colander not paying attention to my aim. The water subsequently poured down the back side and shot straight up the near side right into my eight month pregnant belly.

Burned? Yes.

Blisters? Yes. . . and they popped before I could get my shirt off!

After bawling like a baby I did manage to get our dinner in the oven and finish the second lasagna for the freezer.

Here's to being efficient! LOL

Friday Flashback #2 ~ 18 August 1998 Journal Entry

2011-09-02T18:30:00.000-08:00

At this point in my life I was roughly 23 with a 20-month-old daughter & a 2-1/2-month-old son.

Friday Flashback #2

What a day! I had a wild morning with both children screaming. When Stern came home for lunch I started crying and then finally got both babies to sleep. I decided to work on putting up my raspberries I purchased yesterday and little did I know my troubles has just begun.

I started on the ingredients for making jam which are supposed to be stirred constantly. My burner was smoking a little which I didn't think much of because it would quit shortly. Well, it didn't and my smoke alarm suddenly went off. It took me forever to get it shut off!

Meanwhile, my jam was scorching. I got the alarm shut off, ran back into the kitchen and suddenly something under my burner ignited! It was a macaroni noodle that had caught on fire. I got that put out and salvaged the jam. Luckily I caught it before it scorched too much.

Needless to say all the commotion didn't wake the children and I was able to bottle seven quarts of raspberries and 8 1/2 pints of jam. Heavenly Father blessed me so I could finish. I am very grateful!

When Bo woke up I found her in a pile of diarrhea. She had pulled off her diaper and "finger painted" all over with it. Yikes!

Love,

jill 'E' jam

My Life Has Been Taken Over!!

2011-08-31T08:32:00.000-08:00

For sixteen years our family has eaten dinner together. With the exception of a night here or there when someone had another engagement, it has always been our entire family.

What a huge bonding time for all of us. We laugh, joke, and even throw things at each other sometimes (pea pods are our favorite).

Recently we have found our lives taken over by sports. We've always been careful not to over-schedule the children.

Here's the basic rules:

1 ~ Thou shalt not over-lap thy sports

2 ~ Thou shalt not play hockey which would put thy family in the poor house

3 ~ Thou shalt choose whether thou wilt attend practice/games on Mondays and miss Family Home Evening

4 ~ Thou shalt not choose sports with Sunday commitments

Pretty simple. Funny though ~ #1,2 & 4 weren't even an issue when I was growing up.

Then came this brown pig-skin that has taken over every night and Saturday afternoon.


Yeah ~ he's ready to catch that pig-skin if you can't tell. I couldn't find one for the picture.

Jedrick LOVES it! This is a kid who could just about take or leave anything. Check out this post for more on that. He finds himself in football heaven.

I have recently realized that rule #1 works with one kid playing sports. But as they all get older their sports WILL overlap their siblings sports. Yikes!

I now find myself with Bo playing volleyball (pictures yet to come) and Jedrick playing football. AT THE SAME TIME. Do their practice times coordinate? Heck no. Games? Nada. I am dropping off and picking up during my well-planned dinner time. The problem is ~ few are at home to eat it and there is no magic fairy here making it while I'm out. In the first 2 1/2 weeks of school I've made a homemade dinner a whole three times!

I'm grateful for an article I just read about a mother with three adopted children. Her perspective was wonderful. When life is busy taking her children to & fro, she feels she has the best job on earth.

I must agree.

Though very busy, these are such exciting times. And being a mother really is the best job on earth.

Unknown Swelling and Scary Potentials

2011-08-28T20:13:00.000-08:00

Pupa came to me and said "Mom. I think my eye is bleeding."

Sure enough she had a little pinprick on the outside corner of her eye that was seeping blood over her lower eyelid pooling in her eye. The pinprick was so small I told her to just hold a little piece of paper towel over it and I went back to cooking dinner.

Soon she showed me it was still bleeding and it bled all the way through dinner.

Bedtime came and the bleeding had stopped but I could tell her eye looked a little puffy. I chalked it up to rubbing a paper towel on it causing irritation.

I made a casual comment to my husband that her eye looked a little puffy.

Come morning I hear "Have you seen Pupa's eye this morning??"

Here's what I saw. . .

Friday Flashback #1 - A Broken Conscience

2011-08-26T07:00:00.001-08:00

I thought it would be fun to post a flashback every Friday ~ something from my past whether it be funny, obsurd, heart-wrenching . . . whatever . . . something my readers can count on being there each Friday. Aren't you all totally dying to know more about my secret past? Believe me ~ it's juicy. . .

Okay, maybe not so much. Hope you enjoy!

Friday Flashback #1

A Broken Conscience

Over the years I have enjoyed listening to moral childhood stories. It seems as though so many people are able to gain great wisdom from lessons learned as children and share them with others to lift and inspire.

Me? No.

When I share a story about my childhood it usually boils down to one word ~ naughty.

I tried to be good but someone forgot to bless me with a fully functioning conscience.

I often hear stories of people who stole candy as a child. They felt so terrible inside while chewing the delicious candy that they spit it out and immediately confessed the dirty deed.

Me? No.

I distinctly remember walking to Albertson's as a child with a friend of mine and loading up a plastic bag with candy corns from the bulk bins. I stuck it in my pocket, walked out, and headed home eager to stuff my greedy little mouth.

Where was the guilt?

You know, I enjoyed every last candy corn and only wondered if they would recognize me at the store if I went back for more. They were so good!

I am happy to let you know that I have not grown into a cleptomaniac. I didn't go back for more candy corns . . . only narrowed my thievery to friends' shoes or clothes that I felt I couldn't do without.

Shameful I tell you. Shameful.

Somewhere a seed was planted though and I somehow grew me a conscience as I got older. It is a constant friend now . . . I just wish I'd had it all along!

The moral: People can change!

Back to School - In More Ways Than One

2011-08-24T12:57:00.000-08:00

Let me just say ~ I have a high schooler!

When did this happen and how old does this make me? Young I tell you (and you'd better agree!). But I won't be saying the same thing when the little man still growing inside me hits high school!

BoBeana's first day of 1st grade - I was a picture taking slacker for kindergarten. Oops!

BoBeana headed out the door at 6:50 A.M. for her first day of High School

As for the other children ~ Jedrick started his last year of middle school and is up and out the door at the same time as Bo to hit Jazz Band, PE, & Concert Band at the middle school. He then returns home to finish his core subjects... among other things. Why is he doing both you ask? He wanted to homeschool and I told him he had to prove to me over the summer that he could get up on his own. Let's just say that didn't happen. I'm not messing with getting a middle-school boy out of bed every morning so he gets to take fun classes in the morning and I get him when he's awake. It's a win-win!

Art!

Color wheel exercise!

And a little science...

I'll spare you the pictures of math & language arts. They just don't come out so cute . . .

Here's to a full, exciting school year!!

************************************************

Do you homeschool?

What is your favorite part of homeschooling?

The NEW Routine of a Volleyball Player

2011-08-20T11:14:00.000-08:00

These poor volleyball players.

When I played volleyball we had uniforms: shorts and jerseys.

What do they wear now? Spandex butt shorts.

I watched those poor girls trying to scrimage last night and they'd get all set up.... bump, set, spike!

When the volleyball finally hit the floor all twelve girls would set to work putting those sorry excuse for shorts back where they are supposed to be.

So here's what I saw over and over...

Bump, Set, Spike

Pick, Pull, Stretch

Bump, Set, Spike

Pick, Pull, Stretch

Really ~ who's idea was this anyway?

Feeling So Artsy!

2011-08-19T08:45:00.001-08:00

I love this picture.

It's the floor of the Venetian (where I saw Phantom of the Opera) in Las Vegas.

Did any of you play Q-bert when you were kids? They had a Q-bert floor!

**************************************************

Coming up... back to school ~ in more ways than one!

The Night-Before-School-Starts Tradition

2011-08-15T22:23:00.000-08:00

For Family Home Evening each year before the first day of school we have a tradition that our children look forward to. Stern and I gather all of the children together into the living room. Tonight Bo asked if we could sing "Families Can Be Together Forever."

My heart swelled within me as I looked around the room at each of my children singing

"Families can be together forever through Heavenly Father's Plan.

I always want to be with my whole family.

And the Lord has shown me how I can."

I was asked to give the opening prayer and then I watched as my husband, their father, dressed in his Sunday best give a Father's Blessing to each of his children.

As he progressed from oldest to youngest it was so precious to watch the anticipation on younger children's faces as it drew nearer to their turn. My heart softened as I observed my husband tenderly place his hands upon their heads and blessed each of them individually through the power of the Priesthood (a power only to be used in the service of others and never for one's self). Some were blessed with strength to avoid temptation, others to find joy. Some were blessed with a quickening of their mind, or to be an example to their peers.

Once finished they couldn't help but throw their arms around each of us. Even our sweet Chubbs ran and sat on the piano bench with her chubby arms folded across her chest, eyes wide open when she saw that her turn had come. She had to give everyone a love afterward, not just Mom & Dad.

The Gospel of Jesus Christ blesses all of our lives. It has been restored in its fullest with no pomp or ceremony. It's quietly lived and daily changes the lives of those it touches.

I have much to be grateful for!

Common Responses to the Size of Our Family

2011-08-12T21:02:00.000-08:00

Here are two of the most common responses I receive when people hear we will be welcoming our seventh child in September.

"Did you say second or seeeeventh?"

"Are you crazy? Don't you realize how much that costs?"

"How are you going to pay for all of their college?"

The first response always makes me laugh. The other two always make me think.

Are we crazy? Maybe a little.... but in a good way ;)

Do we realize how much it costs? Heck yeah!

Stern and I have this philosophy:

Children are as expensive as you make them.

That being said, here's what I mean.

My children have never had fancy. Is that because we couldn't or can't afford it? Well, that's debatable. Stern and I have chosen not to do fancy. Sometimes it was hard, especially when my children were all young. When I saw friends doting over their children I wondered if I was doing it right, or if I should be buying more "things" for my kids. Were they missing out because we didn't pay for cable? Were they electronically ignorant because we had the same television I watched cartoons on as a kid. You know, the kind you had to get up off the couch and turn a knob to change the channel.

Once that TV was replaced and subsequently stolen, were they missing out because we didn't rush out to buy a newer, bigger television? I really struggled with this one. My idea of people who didn't have television lived in Idaho City and guarded their food storage with guns. Was that me?

As my children grew we continued to buy them clothing at second-hand stores (with the exception of winter gear for Alaska which was purchased every year in February from REI at their huge clearance sale). Were my children the hippest in the neighborhood? Probably not.

We buy used cars to be used. We buy used lawnmowers, tools, furniture, etc. to be used by the children. If they break it, they can replace it.

Here's the kicker: they work, they earn money, and they buy things themselves. They pay for their own cell phones (phone, activation, & monthly fees). If they're too young to pay for all of that then they don't have a cell phone.

Lastly, how will we pay for their college?

We aren't going to pay for their college.

No one paid for our college. No one paid for our student loans. We sucked it up, worked hard, pulled up our boot straps and paid it. By doing so we realized we could pay off anything... on any income, if we lived well within our means. Stern didn't need to earn more. I needed to just spend less.

There is a difference between wants and needs.

If I have learned anything having this many children it is that what they "want" is our time and what they "need" is shelter, food, clothing, and the love of their family.

I can honestly say I wouldn't change a thing.

The Smell of Fear

2011-08-10T22:37:00.000-08:00

Do you ever have fear?

I find myself battling fear lately.

As I near the end of this pregnancy I fear that Arty will return. I don't want him back. I fear the pain, the fatigue, and the inability to do the things I want to do.

I think it weighs on the back of my mind more than I pay attention to.

I don't want to be the person no one can count on again. I don't want to be the one who needs help. I don't want to be a burden to anyone.

I wish I could just stay pregnant and in remission forever.

I hate fear!

Am I the only person who battles with this?

What do you do to ward off fears that you have?

*********************

A Trip! A Trip! A Trip!

2011-08-08T07:00:00.002-08:00

When my friends recently found out that Stern and I have only gone on vacation alone two times since having children 14 1/2 years ago, and the last time being almost seven years ago, they were all aghast.

Due to their encouragement (and logic) that we should take the opportunity while we can before this baby is born . . . well . . . we took a trip!

Just the two of us!

To Las Vegas!

Let me just say it took me a day and a half to get over ~~my eyes being assaulted at every turn~~ the scenery around me. I quickly learned the ropes, took the long way around, and looked at the ground whenever necessary (avoiding the dirty cards littered all over the ground).

Yes. Vegas is an interesting place.

Reunited

2011-08-05T09:59:00.000-08:00

While cleaning off my desk I had the genius idea to set my laptop on the back of the couch behind me.

When one of my children decided to have a seat and felt something hard against their head ~ they pushed.

This sent my laptop off the back of the couch onto the hardwood floor.

Before assessing the damage, my first thought was "whew! I'm glad I bought that 'fix everything' warranty."

The screen split open (there is cool gel stuff in there), the keyboard would no longer stay snapped down, and there were hiccups in the little touch pad on the bottom.

Needless to say the two and half weeks are over and I have been reunited with my laptop.

Hooray!

Let the posting begin!

Bumped and Hangin' in the Airport

2011-07-25T19:22:00.001-08:00

Great news: We got upgraded to first class on our flight!

Bad news: I couldn't check in at the kiosk because we were upgraded.

Must stand in enormous line for customer service.

Line takes so long, by the time I reach a person a half hour later it is way beyond the cutoff for luggage to be checked in.

The agents response . . . "Sorry. We'll have to book you on the next flight."

We got bumped.

People were bawling all around me with crisis so I tried to calmly ask, "So your telling me we were automatically upgraded to first class, which kept me from checking in on time, which then bumped me from my flight, and now we get to our vacation in the wee hours of the morn?"

"Yes."

"Juuuust makin' sure."

The only seats available from Alaska to Seattle were in the very back of the plane. Stern and I settled in and then saw who we were sharing our seats with.

Let's just say there was no room for an arm rest. I've never rubbed bums with a complete stranger for three and a half hours before and I hope I don't have to ever again.

We should be getting some good karma from here on out. I'm sure of it!!

2011-07-24T16:55:00.000-08:00

All of my creative juices seem to have dried up.

I've decided no one wants to hear my cranky thoughts, cursings at the weather, or nesting gone awry. So I've been silent.

Last night as I lay awake all night I just tried to keep thinking of all of the things I am thankful for. There really is so much!

This was how it started... in order to reign in my crab-o-ly thoughts:

I am thankful for this couch and a pillow.

I am thankful the back deck hasn't caved in. . .

for green outside

for the rain that makes it grow (that was hard to say out loud)

for my children who are growing up too fast

for a dear friend who stood by her word

for socks

for chapstick . . .

Some were profound ~ most were to just try and stay positive.

This sweet little boy inside of me is kicking and squirming more and more each day. My favorite is when I feel his hand or foot glide across the front of my stomach. It is so tender and a miracle once again to feel life inside of me.

A Policeman At My Door

2011-07-18T18:18:00.003-08:00

My friend and her four children came over to play today.

That made a total of 10 children running around our acreage.

There was a knock at my door. There was a uniform through the glass.

To Be A Good Mother

2011-07-13T18:37:00.000-08:00

For the past couple of weeks I've been waking up at 3:30 AM, obsessing about something ridiculous that I can't change, and then promptly falling back asleep at 5:00 AM.

Since it's become part of my daily routine I decided to make it a productive time to think instead of watching the clock trying to fall back asleep.

With less than 12 weeks until the arrival of baby #7, I've been thinking a lot about motherhood and what it means to be a good mother.

I have been blissfully enjoying the absence of Arty (my rheumatoid arthritis not-so-friend) during this pregnancy and honestly, I cannot imagine it ever returning. I have felt so good!

It makes me want to be pregnant forever.

Alas, as I lay in bed thinking about it, I realized that chances are it will return, and what then?

Can I be a good mother?

Pain changes people. Pain makes people cranky.

I recently read a story of a woman who was dying of cancer. She made the decision that she wanted her children to remember her last years with her as happy years. She smiled through the pain. She smiled through the treatments and medications.

That has to be me.

There are good mothers who are deaf, in wheelchairs, without limbs, and dying. Surely I can still be a good mother with joints on fire and limited mobility.

It's my choice!

"Attitude is caught . . . not taught."

What does it mean to be a good mother?

My children love it when I laugh, when I praise them, or when I hug them to me. They love to pile around me under a blanket when we watch a movie. They love to show me their tricks, make things for me, and see me show off their project in frames on my wall or on the refrigerator.

They love to see me happy.

They want my time.

Arty will never take away my time. I still have the same 24 hours in a day to give to my husband and my children as I did before the disease came.

I believe the key to being a good mother is to use that time wisely.

I want to be a good mother.

Family Chores & Family Home Evening

2011-07-11T22:07:00.002-08:00

This has been a chorus in our home for years . . .

"Can someone get me some toilet paperrrrrrrrr!?!"

We have three bathrooms in our home and keeping them all well stocked for seven potty-using family members has always been a challenge.

No more!

Happy Independance!

2011-07-08T19:53:00.000-08:00

We had a wonderful 4th of July and are so grateful to our friends for inviting us to their cabin on the lake!

These are Alaskan swimsuits modeled by Bo and her friend Mak J.

Hey ~ it's cold here.

Maybe it's not that bad but aren't those suits awesome!?! Who wouldn't want to show up to a party in those, right?

We Alaskans are modest dressing folk.

Keeping Chubbs in a life jacket for two days was like trying to keep a cat on a leash. I did catch a smile with her delicious dimple though.

What a fun night of camping, singing patriotic songs, and eating great food with friends.

After staying up until after midnight, the next morning was not-so-fun for Chubbs {or her mother for that matter}. Trying to get her to take a nap took upwards of an hour and a half and had me in tears at times. She was deliriously tired and it broke my heart.

It was all so worth it though! It was great to get out of the house and watch our children laugh and have such a wonderful time.

All of the festivities wiped out our little Cheroo . . .

A Soap Box, A Pirate, & A Sports Bra

2011-07-06T21:32:00.000-08:00

Last night I took Jedrick & Bo to see Pirates of the Carribean #85.

Pardon me while I grab my skirt and slowly step up onto my soap box.

Ahem...

Oh, and a warning ~ this post contains the word "boobs." No offense.

Disney has clearly run out of any sort of clean humor and has now resorted to bringing actress (using the term very loosely) Penelope Cruz into the series who is good for nothing other than her boobs and continuous sexual innuendos.

Right from the beginning Cap'n Jack rips open her shirt (what the...) and her boobs are out there for the rest of the show. Some scenes are even shot with her head almost cut off. . . . I suppose so we all know how boobage flings about while sword fighting. Now all women know they should wear a sports bra ~ preferably covered by a shirt ~ when participating in such activities.

Have you noticed women running around in their sports bras? Did I miss something? We wore those UNDER our jerseys while participating in sporting events.

I digress.

Shame on me for taking my two teenage children to a movie that included Penelope Cruz and her good-for-nothing body parts.

Now, would a gentleman please take my hand so my ranting, pregnant self doesn't fall down as I step off of this soap box.

Thank you very much-o.

It's Hard to Say Good-Bye

2011-07-05T08:30:00.002-08:00

Our family is lamenting the fact that our wonderful friends are moving out of Alaska. We are so happy for them, yet selfishly wish they could stay.

We have known each other since our boys (who have both turned 11) were one year old. We've been through illnesses together, the births of our children, and the ups and downs of homeschooling together.

They are our Alaska family.

Our boys are particularly having a difficult time and spent this entire past weekend together in their own world. They finish each others sentences. They understand each other. They are two peas in a pod.

Big D & our Coyote

I will miss my dear friend who has untiringly watched over me, taught me etiquette when I have guests over (did you know you should offer water?), and forgiven me when my actions have been self-centered and foolish. We've watched each others families grow from toddlers to teens and shared many laughs and tears.

My step-dad once told me that I would be able to count my closest friends on one hand ~ and most of them would be family. He's right. Heather will always be counted as one of the five.

I've been blessed to have her all these years and wish her all the blessings and joy that will come from this new & wonderful chapter in their lives.

They have been a continual blessing to our family & we love them.

It's hard to say good-bye.

A Threat

2011-07-01T08:32:00.000-08:00

This evening I tried to take a few minutes to call my step-mother to wish her a happy birthday. Meanwhile, I believe I received an idle threat from Cheroo who does not like it when I am on the phone.

As we sat in the car waiting for her sister to be done with a class and I made my birthday phone call, Cheroo proceeded to turn on the emergency lights.

I turned them off.

She turned them back on.

I turned them off again.

Suddenly, through clenched teeth in my ear, I hear "Mom, if you don't take me to the bathroom ~ I am going to do it again."

Where did she learn this!?!

Someone really wanted my attention.

Needless to say my happy birthday phone call was cut short and we headed in to the bathroom.

I didn't want anyone peeing to get my attention!

Days Like This . . .

2011-06-30T08:20:00.004-08:00

I'm a desert girl.

I love sunshine.

My heart is filled to the brim on days like this ~

Yesterday I hopped on my riding lawnmower for two hours and was a mowing animal!

The sun felt so good!

And it helps our garden/farm grow into gorgeous, leafy goodness.

This morning is starting out the same way. I must get out and partake!

Tell Tell Signs of an Addict

2011-06-29T13:15:00.000-08:00

All of my children and I ate out for lunch today after we went to the library.

Jedrick accompanied me inside to help me carry out all of the food and drinks. Our order is too big for the drive-up window.

When I walked inside I ordered two kids meals with cheeseburgers: ketchup only. The woman behind the counter proceeded to tell me the rest of my order: two kids meals with chicken stars, no sauce, etc. etc. She got it almost completely right! She laughed and said she was going to type it up and tape it to her counter.

Do I eat too much Carl's Jr.?

When they know me on a first name basis, I think there's a problem.

Oh, the shame.

Chocolate Milk Anyone?

2011-06-28T14:47:00.000-08:00

In an effort not to obsess, I decided to shampoo the carpet in my bedroom and the upstairs hallway ~ only. . . for today anyway.

In Alaska, most people remove their shoes upon entering the home. This keeps the muck outside and saves the carpets.

We have hardwood floors which has somehow given my children the idea that there is no need to remove their shoes anymore because there is no carpet on the main level to protect.

I protested.

The solution my children came up with: just don't wear shoes outside and then there is nothing to remove when you enter the house.

They're smarter than me. I hadn't thought to curb that idea.

I have come to the conclusion that shoes are better than dirty feet.

Especially after pouring a semblance of chocolate milk out of my new carpet shampooer.

Any solutions??

My increasingly obsessive, pregnant brain is losing sleep!

How do you keep your floors clean??

My First Feature! Zoiks!

2011-06-27T15:12:00.002-08:00

Lookie - Lookie!

jill 'E' jam is featured today on itsablogparty!

Hop over and check it out! There are so many cute ideas for the 4th of July :D

The Cow In My Closet

2011-06-23T12:43:00.000-08:00

Do you realize how much milk I have to buy for this family? Gallons.

Do I always make it to the store when we're running out? That's debatable.

Last night I was making homemade biscuits {here's the recipe} when I realized that I had no more milk in the fridge. Dang!

I decided I am no longer going to head to the store.

I have a huge supply of powdered milk that I avoid using like the plague ~ and I'm not even a milk drinker!

Alas, there was a milk cow right there in my pantry begging me to use her product.

How could I resist that sweet face?

I did it.

2 cups powdered milk

1 quart hot water

(blend in the blender)

3 quarts cold water.

I made a gallon, made fabulous biscuits, and my kids loved it on their cereal.

Who knew!?!

I figured it out and it costs $2.00 per gallon to make Mrs. Moo's milk versus $3+ gallons at the grocery store.

I think I'm converted.

And The Winner Is . . .

2011-06-22T18:00:00.000-08:00

The winner of the $25 Chili's Gift Card is . . .

Comment #21 ~ Jennifer!

Congratulations!

Email me {jillejam (at) jillejam (dot) come} your address and I will run, not walk, to the post office to mail your

Date Night on jill 'E' jam!

A huge thanks to everyone who entered, and for your support!

It was so fun to read what everyone likes to do on date night. It's great to have some new ideas!

Happy Wednesday!

Gobstoppers & Choking ~ Chili's GIVEAWAY Closes Tongiht!

2011-06-22T12:29:00.000-08:00

My daughter is studying for a CPR class this Saturday.

I laughed as I thought back to when I was a girl babysitting my little sister.

She was about two or three at the time and we both loved candy.

Gobstoppers were my favorite. I got the most for my money because they were ~ well ~ everlasting!

My little sister wanted one and with no thought I handed one to her.

She popped it in her mouth and it went straight down her throat.

Being only 11 or 12 at the time I had no idea what to do. She was not breathing.

I did what seemed logical to my prepubescent mind.

I grabbed her by her ankles, flipped her upside down, and started shaking her like I was emptying out the trash.

I shook, and shook, and shook that poor girl until that gobstopper came up ~ along with everything in her stomach. I won't bore you with the details of those contents.

All was well.

{and no, she doesn't suffer from shaken toddler}

I'm glad Bo will know how to properly handle a choking situation while babysitting.

I'm not sure how all the mothers will take it if my daughter is shaking their kids like a sack of trash.

Some skills just don't need to be passed on to my children.

******************************************************

Last day to enter the Date Night On jill 'E' jam GIVEAWAY.

There are four easy ways to enter! Get in before it closes at 6:00 pm this evening!

Sometimes Motherhood Is Hard

2011-06-21T14:53:00.003-08:00

While painting a wall hanging for our family room, I asked Pupa to come in with me.

Mother: Pupa, did you know I bought this at Salvation Army? You can buy wooden things there, too, and paint them for your room if you'd like. I know how much you like to paint.

Pupa: Oh! When I saw this I said "What a piece of junk!"

Mother, a little shocked: Really? Does it look like a piece of junk now that it's painted?

Pupa: Well, I like this part and this part but the rest is junk.

Mother, trying to salvage her pride: You think so?

Pupa: Yeah. See ~ just like you think everything I make is from garbage, I think everything you make is garbage. Isn't that funny?

Ouch.

Mother, realizing her many comments about Pupa making everything out of garbage (she is a master recycler) has translated into what Pupa makes is garbage: Oh, Pupa, you are very talented. You make very beautiful things and are very creative!

I think it's going to take some time to mend the perception that I have created.

Sometimes it's hard to be a mother.

More Paint, Digging, & Gifts

2011-06-20T12:58:00.001-08:00

Home improvements continue around our place.

Daunting? At times.

Worth it in the end? Definitely.

Clean = Happy!

2011-06-17T11:43:00.006-08:00

Back in January I started working on a project to recover my dining room chairs. Thanks to my daughter, she convinced me that we should finish recovering all of them, instead of having half of them finished. What an idea!

We all feel better sitting on our new chairs. Such little things bring big smiles to my children's faces.

Here's what I started with. 10 years of children wiping off their syrupy hands on the fabric.


I am not ashamed.... well, sort of.

GIVEAWAY #2 - Everyone Needs a Date Night!

2011-06-15T22:18:00.004-08:00

Every Friday evening (barring scout campout weekends) Stern & I head out on a date. Anything constitutes a date as long as it's just the two of us... all kids home.

Sometimes we stay in, lock ourselves in our room, play backgammon, watch a movie, or... yeah. It's a long-running tradition in our home that all of our children expect. Looking forward to that uninterrupted time with my man gets me through the week with a cheerful attitude. Stern looks forward to me talking to him non-stop without breathing. I'm sure of it.

Everyone Needs a Date Night!

GIVEAWAY #2 by jill 'E' jam

$25 Gift Card to Chili's

(also good at On the Border, Macaroni Grill, & Maggiano's... which we have none of in Alaska)

Life gets busy and sometimes all we need is some uninterrupted time to get reacquainted, hold hands, laugh, and remember why we fell in love in the first place.

I want to share our precious tradition with all of you and it's on us!!

There are four ways you can enter. You can do all of them for FOUR chances to win:

1 ~ Click the 'Follow' button to the right and become a public follower of jillejam.com (or already be one) and leave a comment saying you're a 'Follower.'

2 ~ Leave a comment about your favorite date night activity. This can be a date with a spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, child, grandchild, your dog/cat/bird... I don't really need to know!

3 ~ Go to facebook and 'Like' jill 'E' jam's page (or already be a "Liker"): Then leave me a comment here on this blog to let me know you 'Like' (or love, or tolerate) jill 'E' jam! hehe

4 ~ Mention jillejam on your blog! Come back and leave a comment letting me know you did it.

Comments, comments, comments! The winner will be chosen from the comments!!

This GIVEAWAY will end at 6:00 pm Alaska Time on Wednesday, June 22nd. I will select a winner via Random.org and email the winner just after 6:00 pm, as well as post it here on this blog.

I'm so excited to see who the winner is!

Everyone Needs a Date Night!

*** This giveaway is closed ***

Permits, Wigs & Kindness

2011-06-15T16:28:00.002-08:00

What a wonderful day!

Bo, with her gorgeous blond curls, and I in my wig, excitedly jumped into the suburban just after 10:00 AM to head into town so Bo could take the test for her driving permit.

Unfortunately, all we heard from Mr. Engine was "click, click, click."

Once again my little girls used my truck as their entertainment and drained the poor battery dead. A battery can only take this kind of beating so many times before it finally kicks the bucket.

Movin' Right Along

2011-06-14T19:53:00.001-08:00

So after much frustration and messing up over and over ~

jill 'E' jam is moving!!

You will still be able to access it through alaska-girl.blogspot.com but you will be redirected to

www.jillejam.com

In the meantime, one of my huge mess ups was losing all of my family & friend blog addresses. Most of them have been recovered, but I would love for you to email me your link! ;D

Thanks for reading!!

The Bou Whisperer

2011-06-14T08:26:00.001-08:00

This is our neighbor.

Her name is Dingle and she's a caribou.

Dingle had a baby boy and his name is Jack.

They live happily across the street with our awesome neighbors as pets.

Their owner even takes them on walks on a leash ~ just like a dog.

Tonight Jack (and his antlers) came in through our gate. Stern immediately knew he was headed for our garden.

I laughed.

Sure enough there was a stand-off between Jack and Stern.

Jack won.

After running through our garden a couple of times Stern went to our good neighbor for help.

Our neighbor let out a loud whistle and Jack took off in a full run!

He ran straight out the gate, skidding around the corner, and stopped right in front of his owner.

It was a sight to behold.

I imagined a Disney movie with the prince letting out his enchanted whistle and all of the forest creatures coming to help him clean his man cave.

Who knew there was such a thing as a Bou Whisperer.

Keeping Up

2011-06-13T12:01:00.000-08:00

"It's just hard to keep up sometimes."

These are famous words that have escaped my lips {usually in between sobs} on a few occasions during late night chats with Stern.

It's funny. The other day I thought to myself "who on earth am I trying to keep up with?"

Lyrics from one of my favorite songs goes something like this:

"I'm starting to believe, I only race with me. Only me."

Does it really matter that Ms. Couch is more cheerful, Ms. Rug is more patient, Ms. Pillow bakes everything from scratch, Ms. Zipper's house is always clean, or Ms. Cushion seems to be serving others 24/7?? Do I really have to be all of these things all day, everyday?

I'm thinking not.

Balance is the key.

Whenever I begin obsessing in one area or another, something else suffers dearly. For instance, if I decided to cook everything myself for our family I spend most of my day preparing and cooking three meals plus snacks - and not to mention cleaning up after eight people each time. It's pretty time consuming. Actually, it takes over my life. Very little else gets done.

Friday night I drove to Costco, bought a bunch of pre-made stuff, read NO labels, and had an absolutely delightful weekend. It was very liberating.

The wonderful part wasn't that I threw all responsibility out the window and went all weekend without cooking {I still did lots of that}. It was having plenty on-hand for the times when I didn't cook. And I went for a walk with my girls.

Balance.

"When my best is all I have, it is enough."

2011-06-11T08:00:00.002-08:00

Sometimes I have to learn lessons the hard way. Call me hard headed.... but I may argue with you ;)

While following my husband home in a separate car from our recent camping trip, I took the time to ponder the events which transpired... in particular

prayer.

Jedrick prayed and I prayed for help to figure out how to get the camper top down.
And as I said before

nothing.

No answer came.

Do you believe in answers to prayers? I do, with all my heart. Our prayers are heard.

So what happened? Why was my line of communication with a loving Heavenly Father disconnected?

As I drove and pondered I realized that I had cut the line - - not Him.

Let me back up - - we owned two jetskis and posted them on craigslist for sale. I was irritated that everyone wanted to look at them on Sunday. Two young fellas wanted me to meet them at the lake on Sunday afternoon. I told them 'no.' They still came to look and in the course of our conversation I learned that they believed as I do. I jokingly said "I'm going to punch you in the arm for asking me to meet you at the lake today." Everyone got a good laugh.

They bought the jetskis.

After their departure I went inside, opened my computer, and went straight to craigslist. Lo and behold - - an awesome pop-up trailer for close to what I just sold my jetskis for and it would sleep our whole family {not easy to find!}. I picked up the phone to make sure it was still available and Stern and I were headed over to look at it.... on Sunday.

We bought the pop-up trailer.

If I have made a promise to keep the Sabbath holy, why on earth would I expect an answer to my prayer when I break that promise?

Do I take my children shopping on Sunday? No. Would I take them to a garage sale on Sunday? Of course not. Craigslist seemed magically different.

I was a hypocrite.

If I believe in a just God, and I do, why would I ask Him to keep his promise to answer my prayers when I don't keep up my end of the bargain. I would be asking Him to be a hypocrite.

I believe the Sabbath to be a day we can do so much - - namely service - - thinking of others rather than ourselves. And taking naps.

So what do you do on the Sabbath? I would love to get ideas. If we all share we could write them down and put them in a jar. My children would love to draw out activities to do!

~ ~ Lesson Learned ~ ~

Mom's Disastrous Camping Trip

2011-06-09T13:28:00.002-08:00

Monday was gorgeous and I wasn't going to do chores in my house any longer.

I decided to load up the kids and go camping.

Stern was at work and pleasantly surprised by my announcement. If he got home before we left he was welcome to come with us, or meet us there... I was leaving.

We all cleaned, packed, prepared delicious tin foil dinners, and had everything in perfect order. I was really feeling like a product of my utra-organized father at this moment. There was no detail overlooked in packing up this troop. We were like a well-oiled machine.

Because the trailer was purchased during a period of rain we had to leave the trailer up until it could dry out. We didn't want mold growing and ruining our new toy. All that was left to do was put down the trailer, hook it up to the hitch, and drive away.

I put Jedrick in charge of cranking down the top while I backed up the Suburban. Once the top was down I told him he needed to crank it around 10 more times to give enough slack to clip it down. He did as I asked and said "I probably already did that 20 times before you said that." If you have ever owned a pop-up you may see where this is headed. If you're clueless like I was, read on.

When we got to the campground I squealed "I can't believe we're camping!" To which Pupa replied "Mom, I've never heard your voice sound like that." Yeah. I was excited.

I wanted a sunny camp spot. Not easy to find in a place where birch trees grow like weeds. Scoping out the sights we came upon site 47 and it was a scene like Joseph's First Vision - - just picture sunbeams shining down on our picnic table. This was the place (no pun intended).

I put Jedrick in charge of cranking up the trailer roof.

"Mom, why is this so hard to crank?"

"It shouldn't be. Hmmm. I have no idea. Oh well."

He cranked and I was glad my basketball-belly-self wasn't the one doing it. He's my muscles.

Man, did he crank.

Trailer up. Check. Everything secured. Check.

Time for a delish dinner and desert.

Tin foil dinners, hot dogs (because they weren't full), cherries, & s'mores.

Always a goof-ball

Jedrick got that awesome fire going

"Mom, I'm in trouble."

"Mom!!" Okay, I'll stop taking pictures and laughing.

Daddy showed up for the food - - of course.

Chocolate.

I love dirty, sticky babies.

Routines are good. Real good. Until you're not in them anymore. Chubbs has gone to sleep the same way every night since the day she was born. It's beautiful until we're in a campground with no crib in broad daylight going to bed.

Let the screaming begin.

Oh I was careful to pick a sight that was not only sunny but away from everyone.

I had to laugh when I heard a horn honk from the tent campers a few sites up. As if I was unaware that I had a screeching two-year-old keeping everyone awake. I'll get right on that.

I took her into the truck with me and we sat until she calmed down to normal breathing. It was less than a good night's sleep with her in our bed.

The next morning I was still on top of my game. Who needs more than a couple hours of sleep when your pregnant? I had just better get used to it.

We came back for some things ~~Stern inadvertently took with him when he left in the morning~~. Chubbs got a nice nap in her crib. We bought more tasty food and headed back up.

I made a delicious dutch oven potato dinner - - that got burned in the end. I still made everyone eat it.

We packed up everything, pushed the beds in and began the process of putting down the pop-up.

Weird. It won't move.

Crap.

We tried and tried and prayed and prayed.

No inspiration came. Nothin'.

Ya' can't drive home with the top up.

We'll wait for dad.

Stern: "The winch is jammed."

Clueless Me: "There's a winch?"

S: "Yeah."

CM: "Where? Inside?"

S: "Yeah."

Stern secretly loves all of my questions. I know it.

Here's Stern checking the winch.

Here's what Stern saw.

CM: "Doesn't look too bad."

Then Stern showed me this.

Not-so-clueless Me: "Oh."

Jedrick cranked really hard. The block was bent, the bolts were bent, the cable was jammed & frayed, and the winch was broken.

I took the kids home to go to bed and brought back some tools so that ~~Stern~~ we could get to work.

The bolts were loosened off the block, the top started collapsing on us, many small trees were cut down with a little hatchet, roof was propped, remaining bolts were removed, and it was time to slowly and evenly lower the top..... Stern and his six-month pregnant wife.

Bwaaaahahaha.

On the first attempt to remove a support the whole thing started coming down. I just looked at Stern with the weight of the whole trailer on him and whispered "I can't." It was too heavy for me.

One side came down, I started laughing, Stern ~~started swearing~~ dropped his side, it was half down/half up, and we finally just hit the poles and the whole thing came crashing down. I couldn't stop laughing and that brought a smile to Stern's face.

We brought our broken trailer home that we'd only had for five days.

I've got skills..... I've got skills.

This is why I camped close to home. I was practicing.... and I failed.

Dang!

A Preview of What's to Come...

2011-06-07T22:00:00.000-08:00

I decided to buy a pop-up camper to create some memories in the "wholesome family recreation" department.

I could just see it:

Sitting around a campfire (smoke always ascending up, never in my eyes), eating delicious food, the sun shining, tucking each of my beautiful children into their camper beds, and all of us quickly falling fast asleep in comfort high above the ground.

Ahem... the real story is yet to come...